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Write a one minute sketch (about 1 page) about a chosen subject.

This weeks chosen Subject: Competition. (anything to do with it)

Good Idea. I'll try and enter something if I get time.

Yeah sounds like a plan I guess... I'll enter it, what do we win? cash?!

lol you can win 1p if you have a paypal account.

I'll try to have a go too. Have to be a bit of a rush though but good exercise. Do we just write it here?

Sure. Post them here and we can just vote in another thread. I can't think of a sketch myself so I'd be pretty interested to see other peoples.

If I do another competition, it'll be a bit more thought out.

Won't we be better off having a thread in the 'Critique' for the actual sketches? Just so we don't go all cross-purposes and the raw material all stays in one place.

Dan

Is this the first entry(so to speak)? After all I am a comparative virgin to your site. I've been writing for a speculative radio show recently so my mind is working in that madium. This is for radio.

SCENE TWO YOUNG BOYS TALKING

A) You said yours was bigger than mine.

B) Yeah. And?

A) Well I've been practising and I reckon mines much bigger than yours.

B) Go on then. Get yours out and we'll see.

SOUND EFFECTS OF TWO ZIPS.

A) Right - off we go.

B) You're cheating. You're rubbing yours too hard.

A) That's the only way to make it bigger. Look it's coming out of the end.

TEACHERS VOICE : How dare you do that in class. I've told you before magic lamps are NOT allowed. Now put them back in your bags Alladin and Ali.

Quote: swerytd @ February 23, 2007, 10:05 AM

Won't we be better off having a thread in the 'Critique' for the actual sketches? Just so we don't go all cross-purposes and the raw material all stays in one place.

Dan

View original

Well if everyone else thinks that's a good idea then ok, but why not just do the voting in the 'Critique'.

I don't know I haven't thought this through very well. It looks like Mr Chapman is going to win anyway seeing as he's the only one to submit anything, lol.

I'll try and submit one...

**Puts thinking cap on**, **Takes thinking cap off**. "This is my sisters, it's all pink and fluffy, wait, I don't have a sister, only a brother..."

INT. CRUFTS 2007
We see a Judge examining a small poodle dog, which stands on a decorated podium. The owner looks on with anticipation.

The Judge makes his decision and then notes it on his clipboard.

He moves onto the next podium. Who is then greeted by an owner, grinning proudly about his entrant.

It's then revealed to be a black cat sitting on the decorated podium.

The Judge looks confused.

JUDGE: You do know this is a cat?

The owners smile grows even wider.

Owner: I know.

He then grabs the cat and runs off into the distance, laughing insanely.

Then Judge looks around as if to find an answer to what just happened.

END.

This is a rubbish, five-minute-to-think-of-and-write sketch:

=================
Pools Jackpot

INT. LIVING ROOM.

A MAN IS SAT IN FRONT OF TV TICKING ON A FORM. SUDDENLY HE GETS UP AND STARTS SHOUTING.

MAN
I've won the Pool's Jackpot! I can't believe it! The Pool's Jackpot! Woohoo!

ONE WEEK LATER. SAME ROOM.

THERE'S A KNOCK AT THE DOOR.

MAN: This is it! Finally.

HE OPENS THE DOOR. A MAN, A WOMAN AND A SMALL BOY ARE STOOD THERE WITH A DOG.

WOMAN: Hi! We're the Pooles. This is Jackpot. Enjoy.

JACKPOT: Woof!

END

I wrote this this afternoon, although I had the idea about 3 years ago.

A MAN IN A SUIT KNOCKS ON A DOOR TO A TERRACED HOUSE. AN OLD AGE PENSIONER ANSWERS.

MAN IN SUIT (MIS)
Good afternoon. Are you a Mr. Leonard Jones?

LEONARD
Yes.

MIS
Then I'm here to inform you that the readers of FHM have voted you the 15th most shaggable babe of 2006.

LEONARD
There must be some mistake! I'm a man.

MIS
And a very attractive one too.

LEONARD
No. I mean I'm a man, a male, and a pensioner too! How can I win a shaggable babe award?

MIS
The readers of FHM don't discriminate against age or gender. We're a pretty enlightened lot under all that Bryll Cream and Burberry.

LEONARD
This is preposterous. I won't accept it. It's an insult to my masculinity.

MIS
That's a shame. There's a £10,000 modelling contract that goes with it.

LEONARD
Where do I sign?

MIS
Brilliant.

LEONARD
But I won't do topless.

MIS
No problem. We can give you a big beach ball to hold.

LEONARD
Blimey, you guys know your stuff.

MIS
You'll be pleased to know you also came 7th in our rear of the year category.

LEONARD
Only 7th?

MIS
That's not bad, you placed above... (LOOKS AT CLIP-BOARD) uh Geri Halliwell.

LEONARD
Obviously!

MIS
Billie Piper and Jennifer Lopez.

LEONARD
All that Tae-Bo has really paid off.

Any more entries?

I'm not sure how I vote or anything, but I really like Dave Chapman's magic lamps one, it's my favourite

There's going to be a separate thread for voting. Competition closes at 9:00PM tonight.