Why can't the Irish learn how to spell?
That's a question that both Aisling Bea and Aine in This Way Up would delight in answering: but what is the answer?
As I ponder the question, I hear The Ghost of Comedy Past whisper "Because they're a bunch of Eire-heads!"
I immediately retort "Get thee behind me, Ghost of Comedy Past!" and I continue to ponder.
It soon occurs to me that the Irish might prefer an Aisling Bea to a spelling bee but I quickly put that from my mind.
I then realise that the Irish are using all the right letters but not necessarily in the right order - but why?
And then it hits me: both the Americans and the Irish do know how to spell but they've rejected conventional English spellings simply to wind us up.
It's all to do with tea and potatoes.
Yes, I'm Happy AF with that one.