British Comedy Guide

Class Dismissed, CBBC Page 2

Avatar

Michael Richardson

  • Saturday 23rd May 2015, 2:26pm
  • Glasgow, Scotland
  • 10 posts

I'd been looking for a post on this, as I wanted a second opinion on some of the jokes in my sketches. I'd be happy to post some, if other people are also willing to share.

It was an interesting challenge. Sketch writing isn't my strong suit - I've always preferred sitcom - but I quite enjoyed this one, and once I got warmed up I found that the ideas were coming thick and fast (not necessarily good, obviously).

Avatar

Lazzard

  • Saturday 23rd May 2015, 3:32pm [Edited]
  • Ludlow, England
  • 4,246 posts
Quote: Yacob Wingnut @ 23rd May 2015, 12:45 PM BST

Damn. I sent in the final draft of a script yesterday. The first two words of this script (after the title page and scene heading) are "We watch".

There goes the writing career :).

Shouldn't imagine it's a disaster.
The rest of the script, however....
:)

There is actually a logic to this rule.
It tends to put distance between the reader and the action.
By forcing yourself to work round it you tend to end up with a more direct kind of writing.

EDIT
Of course, there are times when you actually want to put some distance between the reader and the action.
Something viewed through a security camera, for instance, might benefit from it.

I'll shut up now.

Avatar

sootyj

  • Saturday 23rd May 2015, 3:46pm
  • England
  • 51,287 posts

Yacob what's this new version of Spring Watch that you're working on that's set in a gent's urinal?

Quote: Yacob Wingnut @ 23rd May 2015, 12:45 PM BST

Damn. I sent in the final draft of a script yesterday. "Wee watch".

There goes the writing career :).

The thing my License fee or should I say License wee goes on.

Avatar

Yacob Wingnut

  • Saturday 23rd May 2015, 8:16pm [Edited]
  • England
  • 658 posts
Quote: Michael Richardson @ 23rd May 2015, 2:26 PM BST

I'd been looking for a post on this, as I wanted a second opinion on some of the jokes in my sketches. I'd be happy to post some, if other people are also willing to share.

I doubt they'll want anything that's been sent in to the competition to be published on the net. If they've said no to a sketch then we can do what we want with it, but not until then. (Legally I'm sure we could do what we like with the sketches we've sent but best not to annoy any CBBC producers).

Would love to read people's stuff though! If anyone wants to post something they ALMOST sent in then I'd gladly read it.

Quote: Lazzard @ 23rd May 2015, 3:32 PM BST

Shouldn't imagine it's a disaster.
The rest of the script, however....
:)

There is actually a logic to this rule.
It tends to put distance between the reader and the action.
By forcing yourself to work round it you tend to end up with a more direct kind of writing.

EDIT
Of course, there are times when you actually want to put some distance between the reader and the action.
Something viewed through a security camera, for instance, might benefit from it.

I'll shut up now.

In my three previous drafts they haven't brought it up (maybe privately they think I'm an idiot :)). I will watch out for "We see"s from now on though.

Avatar

Shandonbelle

  • Saturday 23rd May 2015, 8:20pm
  • England
  • 6,539 posts
Quote: DeathbyMonkey @ 23rd May 2015, 12:59 PM BST

IT WAS AN EXAMPLE!

I don't think that's the point.

Avatar

sootyj

  • Saturday 23rd May 2015, 9:08pm
  • England
  • 51,287 posts

Surely "Back to class" is for the win?

Avatar

Michael Monkhouse

  • Sunday 24th May 2015, 11:18am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 3,204 posts

Royal baby pissed itself. I thought, Is that a royal wee?

Avatar

Jaicee

  • Sunday 24th May 2015, 12:58pm
  • Glasgow, Scotland
  • 206 posts

2 sketches sent in.One about the showbiz obsessed teacher confusing his class for an audience at a gig.The other about a child having a bad case of tongue sprain from trying to read a big word out loud-send for Mister Hart and his special tongue sprain medicine.It's in the lap of the dogs now.

Avatar

Michael Richardson

  • Monday 25th May 2015, 10:14am
  • Glasgow, Scotland
  • 10 posts

Mine were about the showbiz teacher getting a small part in a costume drama, and coming to school 'in character' as a Roman Centurion; an outbreak of nits which became a full-on disaster movie contamination for the ER school nurse; and a wee one page thing about a kid turning up late to school and running to get to class, and the PE teacher mistaking it for a race.

Only one fart gag, though.

Avatar

Yacob Wingnut

  • Monday 25th May 2015, 2:47pm
  • England
  • 658 posts

Looks like a lot of us went for Mr Christopher, Mr Hart and Miss Ready. Guess they were the easiest ones to write for.

Avatar

Bonzo

  • Monday 25th May 2015, 3:44pm
  • London, England
  • 723 posts
Quote: Michael Richardson @ 25th May 2015, 10:14 AM BST

Mine were about the showbiz teacher getting a small part in a costume drama, and coming to school 'in character' as a Roman Centurion; an outbreak of nits which became a full-on disaster movie contamination for the ER school nurse; and a wee one page thing about a kid turning up late to school and running to get to class, and the PE teacher mistaking it for a race.

Only one fart gag, though.

One of ours was about nits! And we had one fart gag too!

Avatar

Yacob Wingnut

  • Monday 25th May 2015, 4:13pm
  • England
  • 658 posts

We all sent in the same three sketches :).

OK, I didn't send any in sketches involving nits and I never used a fart gag.

Avatar

IlDustino

  • Monday 25th May 2015, 4:34pm
  • London, England
  • 41 posts

Some of these premises sound great! I hope they get used.

Mine were:
Mr Christopher covering French class.
Mr Hart losing it during a fire drill.
Miss Dior-Durant supplying a replacement PE kit.

Avatar

StephenM

  • Tuesday 26th May 2015, 10:27am [Edited]
  • London, England
  • 821 posts

Looked for a thread on this all last week and there was nothing, now the deadline's gone it's up and running!

I sent in three and enjoyed it as something different. It's quite nice writing for kids as oppose to adults given the differences (or at least the differences I think they are!).

Won't claim to be an expert on writing for TV but in the descriptions the key things I'd say are:
- Write character names in capitals, e.g. MR CHRISTOPHER winks to camera, so an actor can easily see if they have to do anything
- Write in third person (as discussed above!)
- Describe what the camera needs to do, if anything, e.g. Zoom in, pull left etc.
- And keep it clear and succinct, but that's writing generally

I've never worked out quite how you do F/X or GRAMS (Music) for TV scripts so if anyone could answer that I'd be much obliged!

Oh and I wrote about Mr. Christopher (him again!), Mr. Jones and Mrs. Tucker. Submitted one with Jones and Tucker (and Barker cameo!) just to give them one that wasn't a solo performance by a teacher to a class. That may not be what they're after but hey!

Share this page