British Comedy Guide

Class Dismissed, CBBC

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IlDustino

  • Friday 22nd May 2015, 4:10pm
  • London, England
  • 41 posts

Did anyone else submit stuff to the Class Dismissed thing? I managed to get three sketches in just before the deadline. Now the waiting game, like Newsjack but for a month.

I'm more comfortable trying to write radio stuff because it's all words and my background is stand-up. This is the first time I've tried writing TV stuff and I found it difficult to work out how to describe all the visual gags.

If anyone knows any good tips/resources on how to properly describe visual stuff without annoying the reader, and proper formatting, please share.
Otherwise I'll just keep pottering about on Final Draft and hope I'm doing it right.
:D

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Stephen Goodlad

  • Friday 22nd May 2015, 4:29pm
  • Mirfield, England
  • 2235 posts

Final Draft doesn't do radio scripts....... a bad omission

But if you go on the BBC website you will find out how to format them.

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IlDustino

  • Friday 22nd May 2015, 5:00pm
  • London, England
  • 41 posts

Sorry, maybe I didn't make myself clear... which doesn't bode well for my writing.

I was asking for tips on writing visual gags for TV scripts.

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DeathbyMonkey

  • Friday 22nd May 2015, 5:19pm
  • England
  • 636 posts

I found the visual gags really easy to write. Just say what you see (in your head). If you wanted Mr. Christopher to jump out a window and land in a dumpster writer something like:

MR CHRISTOPHER, discovers his arm is on fire, and in the confusion and shocks runs straight out of an open window. We see him hang in the air - like the coyote out of Road Runner after he's just run off the edge of a cliff - before falling towards the floor. We see MR CHRISTOPHER'S face twist, wide eyed in dramatic shock. He lands in a smelly dumpster before clambering back out with a banana skin on his head.

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IlDustino

  • Friday 22nd May 2015, 5:48pm
  • London, England
  • 41 posts

I was told not to use "we see" as it's implied that we see it and is the pet hate of one or two readers I've met. But they could be talking utter poop.

Anyway, I took their advice and went through and tweaked all those bits, except one which I found after sending. It's right at the beginning, so hopefully won't be thrown out immediately if I get one of those afforementioned readers.

Also, I was told to keep the descriptions as short as possible, a bit like set-ups to jokes, as many actions/expressions are split-second things.
Again, that could be poop.

I love visual gags and find them quite easy to come up with, it's more just how to WRITE them properly, i.e. how to translate the idea into a thing that needs to be read and then directed, shot and performed by someone else.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Friday 22nd May 2015, 6:49pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 2952 posts

I went in for it too... I didn't realise how gross my style is till I tried doing something CBBC-orientated. Gross in a nice way.

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Bonzo

  • Friday 22nd May 2015, 11:42pm
  • London, England
  • 701 posts
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 22nd May 2015, 6:49 PM BST

I went in for it too... I didn't realise how gross my style is till I tried doing something CBBC-orientated. Gross in a nice way.

We sent in 3 sketches, 2 for Mr Hart and 1 for Mrs Tucker.

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Yacob Wingnut

  • Saturday 23rd May 2015, 8:59am [Edited]
  • England
  • 654 posts

Did one with Mr Hart, one with Mr Christopher and one with Miss Ready. AHHH, now the waiting!

Quote: IlDustino @ 22nd May 2015, 5:48 PM BST

I was told not to use "we see" as it's implied that we see it and is the pet hate of one or two readers I've met.

Never knew this. I use "we see" all the time.

Quote: DeathbyMonkey @ 22nd May 2015, 5:19 PM BST


MR CHRISTOPHER, discovers his arm is on fire, and in the confusion and shocks runs straight out of an open window. We see him hang in the air - like the coyote out of Road Runner after he's just run off the edge of a cliff - before falling towards the floor. We see MR CHRISTOPHER'S face twist, wide eyed in dramatic shock. He lands in a smelly dumpster before clambering back out with a banana skin on his head.

For the record, it's doubtful CBBC would film such a thing. It's too violent and too difficult to film.

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DeathbyMonkey

  • Saturday 23rd May 2015, 9:45am
  • England
  • 636 posts
Quote: Yacob Wingnut @ 23rd May 2015, 8:59 AM BST


For the record, it's doubtful CBBC would film such a thing. It's too violent and too difficult to film.

For the record I didn't send that in a sketch - I wrote it off the top of my head as an example to answer the original poster's question.

And I never use 'we see' - don't know why I used it in the example

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Splodge

  • Saturday 23rd May 2015, 9:46am
  • England
  • 635 posts

A last minute Mr Hart and Mrs Tucker, and a last second Miss Ready (as my Mr Jones didn't seem to contain any actual jokes).

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Shandonbelle

  • Saturday 23rd May 2015, 10:43am
  • England
  • 6495 posts
Quote: DeathbyMonkey @ 22nd May 2015, 5:19 PM BST

MR CHRISTOPHER, discovers his arm is on fire, and in the confusion and shocks runs straight out of an open window. We see him hang in the air - like the coyote out of Road Runner after he's just run off the edge of a cliff - before falling towards the floor. We see MR CHRISTOPHER'S face twist, wide eyed in dramatic shock. He lands in a smelly dumpster before clambering back out with a banana skin on his head.

Really? I think that would be way too much description.

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Lazzard

  • Saturday 23rd May 2015, 10:50am
  • Ludlow, England
  • 4151 posts
Quote: IlDustino @ 22nd May 2015, 5:48 PM BST

I was told not to use "we see"

You were advised well.
It's very easily avoidable.
Just write in the present tense.

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Yacob Wingnut

  • Saturday 23rd May 2015, 12:45pm
  • England
  • 654 posts

Damn. I sent in the final draft of a script yesterday. The first two words of this script (after the title page and scene heading) are "We watch".

There goes the writing career :).

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DeathbyMonkey

  • Saturday 23rd May 2015, 12:59pm
  • England
  • 636 posts
Quote: Shandonbelle @ 23rd May 2015, 10:43 AM BST

Really? I think that would be way too much description.

IT WAS AN EXAMPLE!

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sootyj

  • Saturday 23rd May 2015, 1:49pm
  • England
  • 51287 posts

DBM this bowl of soup tastes of urine

Quote: DeathbyMonkey @ 23rd May 2015, 9:45 AM BST

And I never use 'we wee' - don't know why I used it in the example

Oh I see

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