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Quote: zooo @ August 21 2013, 9:51 PM BST

Put your profile in Critique! ;)

That's a great idea! There aren't any rules over what we can critique in Critique...

It is a lawless place....

I'm only hear because I've got a touch of writers block.

It would probably get the most reads of anything in Critique, ever.

Although, I am a little concerned about the suggestions I might receive to improve it...

Quote: sootyj @ August 21 2013, 9:58 PM BST

I've got a touch of writers block.

Is that cockernee rhyming slang?

Quote: billwill @ August 21 2013, 5:21 PM BST

I could see all the way to The Shard and past that to Crystal Palace TV mast and past that to another TV mast in the far south (which I did not previously know it existed).

You mean you never knew there were two Crystal Palace towers?

Quote: Jennie @ August 21 2013, 9:43 PM BST

I have a new favourite.

69 year old chap, a full 40 years my senior, just got divorced and wants to have "as much sex as possible until I can't do it anymore".

Sadly, that's not really my thing and he is a bit old even for me, but his message made me smile.

Might need to rethink the impression I am making though Huh?

Old Rocker?

Quote: zooo @ August 21 2013, 9:51 PM BST

Put your profile in Critique! ;)

Yes, yes, yes!

I'll put it here. I'm not ashamed:

As a barrister, you might think that I never embarrass myself or get into difficult situations. Not true. I have dropped my bra onto a QC's foot, accidentally told a judge that I prefer being naked and inadvertently agreed to go on a date with a sex offender. I guess my friends wound describe me as funny, intelligent, fiercely loyal and a great conversationalist.

I'm a barrister by day and a sitcom writer by night! The law pays the bills but the writing is my passion. My sitcom is currently with a production company. I like to take care of myself by going to a fitness boot camp, but I think life's too short to keep checking the scales - I love food too much!

The rest of my time I like to spend travelling. I have trekked across Costa Rica and volunteered in India and East Africa. Life is about embracing new experiences.

That's a sample anyway. I took out my Jimmy Saville gag.

Quote: Chappers @ August 21 2013, 10:34 PM BST

Old Rocker?

You dog, OR :D

Quote: Jennie @ August 21 2013, 11:54 PM BST

I'll put it here. I'm not ashamed:

As a barrister, you might think that I never embarrass myself or get into difficult situations. Not true. I have dropped my bra onto a QC's foot, accidentally told a judge that I prefer being naked and inadvertently agreed to go on a date with a sex offender. I guess my friends wound describe me as funny, intelligent, fiercely loyal and a great conversationalist.

I'm a barrister by day and a sitcom writer by night! The law pays the bills but the writing is my passion. My sitcom is currently with a production company. I like to take care of myself by going to a fitness boot camp, but I think life's too short to keep checking the scales - I love food too much!

The rest of my time I like to spend travelling. I have trekked across Costa Rica and volunteered in India and East Africa. Life is about embracing new experiences.

Sudden urge to show... you my... penis!

Lol. I like it.
I can only dream of calling myself a great conversationalist. *dreams*

Quote: Lee @ August 21 2013, 11:57 PM BST

Sudden urge to show... you my... penis!

Now, do you think you would be more or less likely to feel that way if there was a Jimmy Saville joke in there?

Quote: zooo @ August 21 2013, 11:57 PM BST

I can only dream of calling myself a great conversationalist. *dreams*

At least for now you make a great condensationalist.

Quote: zooo @ August 21 2013, 11:57 PM BST

Lol. I like it.
I can only dream of calling myself a great conversationalist. *dreams*

The compliments bit embarrasses me, so I got a friend to do that. The embarrassing court stories are of course all my own work.

And are all true. Cool

Quote: Jennie @ August 21 2013, 11:58 PM BST

Now, do you think you would be more or less likely to feel that way if there was a Jimmy Saville joke in there?

I don't know? Show me yours and I'll show you mine?

Quote: Lee @ August 22 2013, 12:01 AM BST

I don't know? Show me yours and I'll show you mine?

That's exactly what the 69 year old man said! :O