Quote: zooo @ September 5 2011, 7:48 PM BST

Or is he a bloody idiot?
(For six of the listed events, anyway.)

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Or are 2 to 10 imagined as a result of 1?

Quote: sootyj @ September 5 2011, 7:55 PM BST

There were lots of times I didn't almost die.

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So near, yet so far.

Quote: sootyj @ September 5 2011, 6:34 PM BST

1 2 day coma from alcohol consumption
2 almost drowned trying to take a short cut in the sea.
3 ran self over with a tractor.
4 pulmonary embolisim leading to losing half of lung capacity for a week.
5 got strangled for a laff working the day shift in a psychiatric hospital.
6 almost drowned trying to take a short cut in the sea (second time)
7 got MRSA poisoning from infected excrement at work. (or was it a weird mutant virus still not sure)
8 Hit low wall at bottom of a hill at high speed on a bike catapaulting self 6 feet distance.
9 Told possibly psychotic colleague they were suspended (took it very badly)
10 Crossing busy Amsterdam thoroughfare stoned.
11 Hmm something else but can't remember it.

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If you survived all those you have a charmed life!

1, Milliseconds away from being beheaded

2, Myocardial infarction. Gear box tried to pack in

Quote: Jack Daniels @ September 5 2011, 3:18 PM BST

We used to go to the baths at primary school and before we broke up for the summer holidays they'd put loads of toys and things in the pool. Everyone was sat on this big floating fish shaped thing and I got stuck underneath it.

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Something similar happened to me. I capsized in a kayak and panicked rather than doing what I was told to to right myself.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ September 6 2011, 5:59 PM BST

1, Milliseconds away from being beheaded

2, Myocardial infarction. Gear box tried to pack in

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Are you perchance the Scarlet Pimpernel?

And as for the infarction much sympathy, how quickly did you recover?

2 stents inserted and 3 months off work.

Couldn't walk more than 100 yds when I came home from the hospital.

3 months off work.

That was 5 years ago - right as ninepence now.

Stents?

Quote: Scatterbrained Floozy @ September 7 2011, 11:29 AM BST

Something similar happened to me. I capsized in a kayak and panicked rather than doing what I was told to to right myself.

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I've never panicked when underwater, because I can hold my breath for a really long amount of time. I remember, when I used to go swimming with my school, the teacher in charge wanted to see how long we could all stay underwater, and I stayed under a lot longer than everyone else. When I used to go swimming with my mates, we'd sometimes start messing about, wrestling in the shallow end, holding each other underwater until someone admitted defeat. When I'd be down there, I used to scare my mates into thinking I'd passed out, by going limp and staying still for ages. They'd often get into trouble with the lifeguards when this happened.

They punch a huge hole in your main atery in your groin (right next to your important bits) and shove these things with a long wire up to your heart where the atery is blocked.
They then inflate the ballon and pull the wire back out.

Oh jeebusing heck.

Isn't science sexy.

I just nearly choked on a Guzzle Puzzle sweetie.

But then I didn't.
Phew.

Zooo

1 Almost choked on guzzle puzzle
2 Almost choked on Buzzle's Pizzle.

Tragic you have my sympathy

But mine were more colourful