You are developing your own style and while it may not be hilariously funny it really is good interesting stuff.

Keep it up!

Very imaginative, very cool, it would produce some great visuals. Not the funniest comedy sketch but a great leap into Judes World.

You've given me an idea, I'll PM you.

Thanks David, I will

Yes Jude you do have your own style & I just showed your sketch to my female friend who popped over, she has written a few romance books (Blurghhh) but they have been published. She found it amusing and made a very good point.
Its a girl thing. Women are more likely to find that sketch funny, so dont play around with it too much (the sketch that is, not well you know)

Quote: charley rance @ June 9, 2007, 11:42 PM

Yes Jude you do have your own style & I just showed your sketch to my female friend who popped over, she has written a few romance books (Blurghhh) but they have been published.

View original

Does she use you for inspiration Charley?

Quote: Leevil @ June 9, 2007, 11:42 PM

Very imaginative, very cool, it would produce some great visuals. Not the funniest comedy sketch but a great leap into Judes World.

You've given me an idea, I'll PM you.

View original

Thanks Leevil, was beginning to think I`d turned into a Big Banana myself

Yeah great PM me with your idea.

No! Dave LOL. She is a romantic with words, I am a filthy mouthed whore so i reckon we would clash there.

Quote: charley rance @ June 9, 2007, 11:42 PM

Yes Jude you do have your own style & I just showed your sketch to my female friend who popped over, she has written a few romance books (Blurghhh) but they have been published. She found it amusing and made a very good point.
Its a girl thing. Women are more likely to find that sketch funny, so dont play around with it too much (the sketch that is, not well you know)

View original

Thanks Charley and your friend, it`s a really good point. I was too preoccupied to think of that

I won`t play around with it too much, although I do have a few extra bits lying around.

Quote: charley rance @ June 9, 2007, 11:46 PM

No! Dave LOL. She is a romantic with words, I am a filthy mouthed whore so i reckon we would clash there.

View original

I can't believe that.

You wouldn't turn into a great big banana would you?

I like that you're trying different things Jude. I didn't laugh out loud at this... but so what? I had a smile on my face, the whole time I was reading it.

It's slightly surreal, imaginitive. The thread of the girl not knowing anything about her car is a good one. I was a bit confused over whether the car was helping her out or not. It stalls, for example and then won't let her know where he is when Cat is lost in the woods. But then opens the door for her.

Maybe a nice twist would be that the car and Cat have had a spat? If this is the premise already, forgive me, I didn't see it. But then it's still relatively early on a Sunday morning...

I read somewhere (a writers' e-zine that I subscribe to - I can dig out the article if anyone is interested) that fiction written by women generally only appeals to women. And that fiction written by men usually appeals to both men and women. It may be why most members of the male species won't 'get' this, whereas more women will. But that's no bad thing. As charley's friend says, perhaps it's better not to change it too much.

Thanks for your comments and the info Darren

I`ve got a quite a bit more on Big Banana, so I`m going to develop it into a larger piece.

It`s all helpful stuff though, as this time, I won`t overlook the male perspective quite as much. I don`t usually and sometimes attempt to write from the male POV (lol).

Jude there is nothing wrong with overlooking the male perspective. Some wonderful things have been written with women in mind. They attract us ladys then we make our men watch them & before you know it
Wahoo, they enjoy them anyhoo.
Look at Sex in the City, Desperate Housewives, Pulling, Nighty Night etc etc.

Now men have there little things like sports stuff, Top Gear (which i lurve but it is ultimatley aimed at men, Men behaving badly was too at first)

I seriously dont think you should change your sketch, but if you have too, only a tad. I liked it very much.

(Smack the Pony)

Jude, you said you were new to comedy writing - what did you write before? And why do you want to write comedy?

I started because people kept telling me I was really funny and because it's the only area of writing where I can bear working in a mainstream way.

Thanks Charley and Leevil, I was having brain-freeze. It doesn`t take much (lol)!
Great points, I was sitting at my laptop thinking oh yeah!

Hi Godot, I wrote horror before and still do. I use humour a fair bit in most things I write, so I thought I`d give comedy a try.