My god I'm excited, I've got a spot on a gong night I get 2 minutes... I'm crap and I'm out; I'm tweaking my material and practicing as I write!

Any advice? I'm nervous just thinking about it!

Nice one fella. Where abouts?

The nottingham maze comedy club... near St annes (an evil estate)

Congrats. Your a braver man than I.

I was alway taught that when you get nervous, the first thing to happen is your mouth goes dry. If you stick your tounge behine the front of your top teeth, your mouth tends to start producing saliva, ralaxing your body. Sounds odd, but I was taught it on a personal development course.

You could also try Muhamman Ali's future history technique where you close your eyes, relax, and visualise winning the fight, imagining the smell of sweat, the sound every time he punches his opponent. Ali used to do this 60-70 times in the months before going into a fight.

Although to be honest, I use both techniques, but still can't get the courage to go on stage.

Good luck Paul. It takes a lot of guts to get up there. Take a few deep breaths and don't get p1ssed. if you do and you're great, you'll become an alcoholic very quickly! oh maybe just a pint then

I don't do stand-up because I've only got one joke.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It was stuck to the pervert.

Best of luck Paul on what's sure to be the best two minutes of your life.

Paul just keep going, don't react to audience negativity and try ans keep the jokes short so if you miss you're on to the next one. Good Luck and well done

Thanks for the support guys... I'm trying to compress a few of my longer jokes down now, but I'm very much a storyteller with a few punch lines in and at the end of the story.

Nick I'm actually going to have a few before I go on stage just to give me a bit of extra confidence and if I'm crap I can say I was drunk. Win win!

Well done for stepping up and good luck!

Good luck Paul

Dan

Good luck, Paul.

Go on there and knock 'em bandy my son!

Best of luck!

Go for it mate - quick fire jokes is the way to go I think as suggested by ajp. Oh yes, and no jokes about Nottingham Forest being crap - they might not see the funny side.
Good luck and let us all know how you got on and if it goes tits up let us know what ward you are in and I will send a card.
Just teasin' - enjoy it!
Andy

Good luck Paul. Don't make an jokes about gun crime either in Nottingham. lol

I live in Nottingham... all I have to take the piss out of is derby and I should be ok.

my material is about me been stupid and religion hope it goes down well... thanks for all the good lucks going down tonight with another stand up doing his first time tonight. But its a free car ride so I’m all good.