I was goosing the barmaid and wolf whistling at the birds.
I'm writing this from prison.

Shocking news from the USA .
As yet unconfirmed but it's been reported that there were no mass killings* today.
*more than 10 deaths.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 13th April 2021, 8:19 AM

I was goosing the barmaid and wolf whistling at the birds.
I'm writing this from prison.

View original

That reminds me of Peter Kay joke about the butcher who had to sack a bloke who kept putting is cock in the bacon slicer.

Sky was running the headline Fake Pfizer vaccine doses found.
People think they're vaccinated have been recalled for a genuine dose.

Pretty heady scary sruff....
It was in Mexico and was a few hundred doses.

Wine tasters in France are asking for priority vaccination due to the loss of smell and taste with Covid19.

They're corkers.

They must be on cloud wine.

That's life,one day you are riding high and then it all grinds to a halt.In Blackpool anyway.

I'm not sure if I have shared this idea before ? I had an idea years ago that I wanted to sell to the owners of the Pepsi Max ride in Blackpool that would enable them to boast that the ride was now treble the fear. Whats more it would only cost £50,000 PA to maintain. I of course would require £20, 000 up front.
And what is this idea you ask?
The 50 grand is to pay above minimum wage to two people working two shifts as Fairground folk are notorious low payers.
The worker would be dressed in orange overalls and hard hats holding spanners with grease on their face and would wait under the side rail just before each full carriage set off . Then they would jump up and point at the carriage shouting 'Oh my god not that one'
As a further show of confidence I would then tell the owners that I would double or quits with them on the fee. I would be prepared to bet that not one person in that carriage would be photographed with their hands in the air.
Then as the punters crawl off each ride they are asked not reveal the scare, 'Mousetrap' style.

Sadist

I enjoyed the Boris meltdown at PMQs yesterday. Very Prime Ministerial, a great advert for Britain, and he didn't in any way look guilty because of it.

Is that what you saw?

Time to declare war on France.

Quote: Chappers @ 5th May 2021, 9:01 PM

Time to declare war on France.

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Or maybe a duel:
Kippers at 20 paces.

They want to eradicate American spelling from English. I'm skeptical.