Was it an in-strum-mental piece of evidence.
I read the news today oh boy! Page 1,385
Slow news day today !
Ok Lofty here's a Crimbo gift for you.
Godzilla killed JFK, new footage has proved that JFK was not actually shot in the head. But was infact decapitated by a 500 foot tall terror lizard, in revenge for when JFK during the war did something. F**k I don't know, blew up Hiroshima by lighting one of his farts.
The Queen of England is actually a shaved bear and killed 2 butlers, attempting to shave her for her speech. Prince Philip is a zombie raised from the dead by the chief witch doctor for the Commonwealth and lives on the mashed up bodies of Xfactor losers.
The Pope is Jewish.
Yep
Yep that's all pretty much spot on mate
P.s. did you like the zebra print y-fronts I got you for Christmas ?
Sorry they didn't do them in XXXXL
That was a zebra London zoo were not amused
Quote: sootyj @ 25th December 2013, 6:43 PM GMTPrince Philip is a zombie raised from the dead by the chief witch doctor for the Commonwealth and lives on the mashed up bodies of Xfactor losers.
that is definitely true.
Quote: Oldrocker @ 25th December 2013, 2:00 PM GMT
If she had been attempting to play them that might count as justifiable homicide.
They want stringing up
A North Texas teen from an affluent family was sentenced to probation this week after he killed four pedestrians when he lost control of his speeding pickup truck while driving drunk, a punishment that outraged the victims' families and left prosecutors disappointed.
During the court trial, the defence called psychologist G Dick Miller as main witness. Miller diagnosed Couch as suffering from "affluenza" where his parents' wealth fixed problems in their lives.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/12/affluenza-defence-probation-for-deadly-dwi_n_4430807.html
I actually got asked to write a joke on that story for a client.
I went to see my Dr and said Dr I've been terribly ill.
He asks me whats wrong with me.
So I say whenever I sneeze it's green.
That's normal, boogers are green. Did I cure your colour blindness?
I say no it's green like dollars, $1 bills, $5 bills and even $50 bills.
Oh he says you've caught Afluenza.
Alfluenza?
Yeh it's like when you're so rich it makes you unhappy, there's a simple cure.
What's that?
Pay my bill, you won't be affluent after that. Are you ok you're not sitting comfortably?
I said I got Afluenza so bad I work up this morning, sneezing dollars, pissing diamonds and shitting tiffany jewellery.
I then reread the story and thought, f**k.
It's amazing how easy to get away with murder if you're rich.
Quote: lofthouse @ 26th December 2013, 2:57 PM GMTThey want stringing up
Nobody's got the pluck to do it.
Tosser