What BBC Three Wants

http://www.chortle.co.uk/news/2012/06/18/15611/what_bbc_three_wants...

Any thoughts?

Quote: Antrax @ June 18 2012, 9:35 PM BST

http://www.chortle.co.uk/news/2012/06/18/15611/what_bbc_three_wants...

Any thoughts?

Well that's just irritating.

I think I'm going to be sick.

"3. A fashion conscious teen and her gay brother are forced to move to a rural community and are horrified by what faces them."

4 A walrus disguises himself as a penguin so he can get into the penguin enclosure at London Zoo. Because he wants to go on a diet to win Britain's biggest loser and they feed penguins less.

5 A necrophiliac has a forbidden relationship with a zombie.

6 A gay dad marries his partner and brings their kids up in a loving household. They continue to have a meaningful relationship with the birth mother.

7 Someone steals a mans cup. He is upset.

I'm going to write number 7. I think James Corden has the right "my cups been stolen looks" with Mrs Jocelyn as the unsympathetic worker at lost and found who won't help him find his cup.

The 'briefing document' was leaked to us about 6 weeks ago.

I'm still laughing now.

But did you write anything for it?

Anything else leaked?

Well I have the full document not just the overview that Chortle has reported, so there is some additional information in it, but nothing all that of note.

You can just imagine the meeting that produced that brief.

The kind of meeting that can only be improved by a maniac with a machine-gun.

A few friends of mine were invited to pitch. To be fair, the rest of the document is way more sensible. But all of them largely derided the 'particular interest' pitches (well, with the exception of the second, which was considered vague enough to be malleable into something less shit).

I'm lost for words. There's a defintion of the sitcom they would like to produce followed by stereotypical scenarios.

Why not just adapt the Private Benjamin script for number 3 ?

Quote: sootyj @ June 19 2012, 2:31 PM BST

4 A walrus disguises himself as a penguin so he can get into the penguin enclosure at London Zoo. Because he wants to go on a diet to win Britain's biggest loser and they feed penguins less.

5 A necrophiliac has a forbidden relationship with a zombie.

6 A gay dad marries his partner and brings their kids up in a loving household. They continue to have a meaningful relationship with the birth mother.

7 Someone steals a mans cup. He is upset.

I'm going to write number 7. I think James Corden has the right "my cups been stolen looks" with Mrs Jocelyn as the unsympathetic worker at lost and found who won't help him find his cup.

Antonia Campbell Hughes as the necrophiliac and Rasmus Hardiker as the zombie!

I just solde number 5 to Fox television.

It's going to feature Jennfier Aniston as the necrophiliac and David Shcwimmer as the Zombie. They're hoping to get that old Friends pzaz back again.

Its going to be called "F**k off and die"

BBC Three is a spoilt kid. It wants too much in my opinion...

This is why programmes such as Episodes never work. The reality is beyond satire.

Quote: MCharsley @ June 19 2012, 2:25 PM BST

I think I'm going to be sick.

"3. A fashion conscious teen and her gay brother are forced to move to a rural community and are horrified by what faces them."

It is like the unholy lovechild of The Gemma Factor and The Green Green Grass. Let's see how many shit cliches we can cram into one half-hour show...

Quote: Tursiops @ June 20 2012, 11:22 AM BST

The Gemma Factor

THAT'S what it was reminding me of. Thanks!