JUSTIN: There's a major crisis afoot in Coronation Street - not just the increasingly unbelievable plots.
This could pose a bigger problem than Michelle Collins' northern accent...
Betty, The Rovers Return's beloved barmaid, is dead - and her classic hotpot recipe has been lost. They need to find a new signature dish for the famous pub. Boss Steve McDonald and manager Stella judge the competition entries...

[MUSIC]: Coronation Street theme.

STELLA: (in really bad northern accent)
Well I've never tasted such a load of muck since that revolting pie and mash they dished up in Albert Square when I spoke in me proper voice.
Carla's Coronation Chicken? Chicken?
I reckon that was old knicker elastic from the factory. Disgusting.
And Norris's noodles? Nooooo way. Pasta joke. Pass the sick bucket.

STEVE: What about Gail's gherkin pie?

STELLA: You've got to be joking. I'm not surprised she's seen off so many husbands.

STEVE: Tell me Rita's rissoles weren't that bad?

STELLA: Ugh, ugh! She gets her meat from that scrag end butcher's behind the Red Rec.

STEVE: Shush! Here comes Ken and Deirdre. Who do YOU think should win, Ken?

KEN: No one ever listens to me. (Shouts) I'm boring!
Here, try some of Deirdre's dumplings...

STELLA: (munching) Oh no! Soggier than a wet week in Blackpool, if you ask me.

STEVE: Blimey! That was a bit 'Barlow' the belt.

DEIRDRE: Ken, do something!

[FX] Rapid machine gun fire and bodies thudding to ground.

KEN: Not so boring now, eh, Deirdre?

DEIRDRE: My hero! Tracy luv, will you be home for your tea? Looks like it's a REAL McDonald's on the menu tonight. Fancy a Steve Quarterpounder?

Aside from any other considerations, this had about zero chance of being used because it uses a real person's death as the way in. If the character of Betty being killed off was a news story, fair enough, write a sketch with this theme. When the actress has died, I think you should show a bit more respect, quite frankly.

Quote: Badge @ October 23 2011, 8:43 PM BST

Aside from any other considerations, this had about zero chance of being used because it uses a real person's death as the way in. If the character of Betty being killed off was a news story, fair enough, write a sketch with this theme. When the actress has died, I think you should show a bit more respect, quite frankly.

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They did Steve Jobs Badge?

I guess I'm saying I fancied Betty more than Steve.

Of course, I'm not saying that. All I'm saying is choose your subjects (and targets) wisely. If you want to get a sketch on the BBC perhaps you are better off not using the recent death of a well-loved star (whose friends and relatives and fans could theoretically be listening), or not?

Quote: Badge @ October 23 2011, 9:33 PM BST

I guess I'm saying I fancied Betty more than Steve.

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I think the main fault with the sketch Callum, for NJ is that there are too many impressions to do so Lewis would have trouble jumping from one to the other.

There were some good lines and the basic premise was ok. Maybe a one liner from the situation was more doable rather than a sketch.

Oh, and by the way, welcome to the site

Coming up with a replacement (or even better: them trying to recreate Betty's Hot-Pot) is a *superb* angle for a sketch, I think.

Then it all goes downhill. It's just talking and wordplay and impressions and a bit crazy. It's not very Newsjack in style, is it?

Also, as Badge points out, I would stay away from any stories involving (certainly recent) deaths. The hot-pot angle is clever as it covers it without being about it, though I do think it's too soon.

Dan

Thanks for all your constructive comments.
I really appreciate the input because I have desperately tried to get the feel of doing stuff the Newsjack way.
Obviously not there yet.
I suspect my style is more News Huddlines than Newsjack - and that show hasn't been on for a decade now!

The hotpot replacement *is* a good idea, I just think it belongs in the Corrieworld - i.e. when Betty is written out - rather than the real world, in relation to Betty Driver's death.

It's what Betty would have wanted.

I thought it was great :-)

Perhaps Betty could come back with dyed black hair and a perma-a-tan. Maybe she could reverse her Range Rover into a Molly Maid car too

Martin, has anyone told you that you look a little bit like Karl Pilkington, not that you do or anything

Yes Steve

One person, but he looks like across between Eddie Izzard and an Ewok, so I take no notice if possible.

It is amazing how bald people look similar to other bald people (apparantly), positives have been Bruce Willis, negatives have been 'Minty' from EastEnders.

Now two say Karl Pilkington, another string to my bow.

Quote: martin jones @ November 12 2011, 12:08 AM GMT

Yes Steve

One person, but he looks like across between Eddie Izzard and an Ewok, so I take no notice if possible.

It is amazing how bald people look similar to other bald people (apparantly), positives have been Bruce Willis, negatives have been 'Minty' from EastEnders.

Now two say Karl Pilkington, another string to my bow.

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Harry Hill as well now you come to mention it

Ahh, but I don't wear Ronnie Kray style glasses Steve

Quote: martin jones @ November 12 2011, 12:30 AM GMT

Ahh, but I don't wear Ronnie Kray style glasses Steve

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