Following a large number of PM's asking me to return to the site and post some more of my sketches (Aaron can verify just how many PM's I've had) here is my entry, thanks for all your support guys! ;-)
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INT. BUSY BANK. TWO BANK ROBBERS.

JONNY: (LOUD WHISPER)
Put one in the ceiling Eddie and shout “stick 'em down...”

EDDIE: (LOUDER WHISPER)
What!? …Can’t you ever forget you were a floor tiler Jonny? (BEAT) Look when I take the shooter out the bag I’ll be blasting like a guddun' OK? OK?

JONNY TUGS ON EDDIES SLEEVE.

JONNY:
Uh, oh Eddie… I need the bathroom…

EDDIE:
NO! Jonny no! Not that, No. No way.

JONNY:
But I’m bustin’ Eddie..

EDDIE:
No you’re not, oh I hate you…

JONNY SPOTS A STAFF TOILET AND GOES THROUGH THE DOOR. ALMOST IMMEDIATELY HE COMES OUT AGAIN WITH A HORRIFIED LOOK ON HIS FACE.

JONNY:
You won’t believe this! They’ve got plain off-white ceramic floor tiles but someone’s used an antique blue porcelain tile to do a botched repair. It’s hideous! Oh Eddie, we need to (BEAT) DO SOMETHING!!!

EDDIE: (EXASPERATED)
Yes, we need to rob this f**king bank!

JONNY:
Give me the bag Eddie, I’ve got to save that beautiful old floor tile from all (BEAT) THIS!

JONNY REACHES OUT BUT EDDIE PULLS THE BAG TOWARDS HIMSELF AND STARTS TO OPEN IT.

EDDIE: (HISSING)
No way Jonny, not this time… Forget the f**king tile, we’ve got to finish this bank job. I can’t stand it Jonny, I’m getting the shooter out now! Stand back! (SHOUTS) FREEZE YOU FUCKERS!!!

EDDIE OPENS THE BAG AND WITHOUT LOOKING TAKES OUT A TILERS GLUE GUN, POINTS IT STRAIGHT UPWARD AND PULLS THE TRIGGER. GREAT SPURTS OF GLUE SHOOT OUT, SOME STICKS TO THE CEILING AND SOME FALLS BACK DOWN ON EDDIES HEAD AND FACE.

EDDIE: (DEFEATED)
What the f**k?! Oh Jonny...

JONNY PUTS HIS ARM AROUND EDDIES SHOULDER.

JONNY:
I’m sorry Eddie, let’s go home, eh? We can't save all the sad old tiles on our own..

END

Quote: Frankie Rage @ December 10, 2007, 12:29 PM

Following a large number of PM's asking me to return to the site and post some more of my sketches (Aaron can verify just how many PM's I've had) here is my entry, thanks for all your support guys! ;-)
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View original

Quote: Charley @ December 9, 2007, 10:08 PM

Just incase I cant get on too vote over the next few days, I am going to jump in before this closes.
My Vote goes to Cinnamon!!!

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before you've even read my tripe! Out-bloody-RAGE-ous!

I've seen this thread and thought 'I don't understand that' and today I realise that it's a sketch competition! And all those funny numbers finally make sense - they're dates! (Be easy with me, I'm new here..) So that 10.12 bit there means today is the last day? Hang on, I want to enter...

Quick joke-type-thing.

A scandal at Gordon Ramsey's new restaurant, a blackberry sauce and a pheasant have been charged with soliciting for sex. A chef from the highly rated restaurant claimed, 'The pheasant should hang.' Local reports suggests the sauce was on the game. A statement from the restaurant's properter, 'F**k!'

My vote goes to 'The Rage' this week.

Quote: Frankie Rage @ December 10, 2007, 5:15 PM

before you've even read my tripe! Out-bloody-RAGE-ous!

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Sorry Frankie. That was a fabtastic entry by the way. I assumed the comp was closing. I have already voted though so have to stand by that.

Michael's not even dropped the flag yet... he's been usurped on this occasion!!

ooo there'll be summat said!

I'm going to tell!

Apologies for jumping in with my entry. As a condolence Frankie I can merely offer you, with much thought & care, my vagina.

Quote: Charley @ December 11, 2007, 3:20 AM

Apologies for jumping in with my entry. As a condolence Frankie I can merely offer you, with much thought & care, my vagina.

View original

Well, that's something then! Perhaps Michael should go away more often!!

Quote: Charley @ December 11, 2007, 3:20 AM

Apologies for jumping in with my entry. As a condolence Frankie I can merely offer you, with much thought & care, my vagina.

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And I always assumed you were a geezer in cyber disguise

Less of a Charlie's Angel, more of a Charlie Drake !!

Mind you I aint much of a judge. I always assumed Lesley Phillips was a lass until I watched Carry on Nurse.

Quote: Frankie Rage @ December 10, 2007, 12:29 PM

Following a large number of PM's asking me to return to the site and post some more of my sketches (Aaron can verify just how many PM's I've had) here is my entry, thanks for all your support guys! ;-)

View original

There's no apostrophe in "PMs"! It's plural, not possessive or a contraction! >_<

I vote Baumski.

only me first time here and already finding it very traumatic so many funny sketches to choose from...kangaroos...primark...white spirit... but frankie rage gets me vote - sorry to everyone else - i demand the right to be able to vote as many times as i want!!

Quote: Aaron @ December 11, 2007, 9:18 AM

There's no apostrophe in "PMs"! It's plural, not possessive or a contraction! >_<

View original

hes, 'right yknow'!.

Fx

.......................................

I'm missing Malcolm terribly - he brought such a lovely sense of order to things. Mal-colm! Mal-colm, where are you dear? Men!

Hattie xxx

Quote: Frankie Rage @ December 11, 2007, 1:33 PM

hes, 'right yknow'!.

Fx

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>_<

You're facing a banning this time mate!

Quote: Frankie Rage @ December 11, 2007, 1:33 PM

I'm missing Malcolm terribly - he brought such a lovely sense of order to things. Mal-colm! Mal-colm, where are you dear? Men!

Hattie xxx

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Oh God, not again!