This is the subject of this weeks writing competition in the absence of a response from Greggles.
and I suppose the deadline will have to be Tuesday 19 June.
Current totals subject to me being able to count
Points - Name
10 - Swerytd
09 - ajp29
09 - ShoePie
08 - Leevil
08 - David Chapman
08 - Charley Rance
05 - Greggles
04 - Andy W
04 - losaavedra
03 - Stylo
02 - Imamazed
02 - Slack Bladder
02 - Paul Nash
02 - Boits
01 - Ginger Jesus
01 - Nick Rivers
01 - Daddy Maz
Oooooo-Aaaargh! You baint geddin' a grillion verses out o' me this 'ere darn week!! So 'ere goes:
Old MacDonald 'ad a Farm
Accordin' to the song
I can't remember arf the words...
it's just too f**kin' long!
(Edited to correct the metre ... bugger ... I knew I shouldn't have put this up 'til the daily dose of red wore off!!)
Can I do a version of Animal Farm?
Quote: charley rance @ June 13, 2007, 2:46 PMCan I do a version of Animal Farm?
what - like Rebecca Loos was it?
Sheep one:
what day is it?
Sheep two:
tuesday, why you ask?
Sheep one(upset)
i cant take this anymore
Sheep two:
cant take what
sheep one:
the love
sheep two
the love
sheep one
yes the love, i had the farmer on sunday, the vets yesterday im hoping that today im left alone as Ive gone from fingers to a fist in a week.
can someone slap me down or bring me up
Okay - your sketch lacks originality. All you have done is have two sheep tell a weak sheep shagging joke with a weak punchline.
I wish I could say something positive about it but I truly cannot.
Quote: Smith Ian @ June 13, 2007, 3:35 PM
Sheep one:
what day is it?Sheep two:
tuesday, why you ask?Sheep one(upset)
i cant take this anymoreSheep two:
cant take whatsheep one:
the lovesheep two
the lovesheep one
yes the love, i had the farmer on sunday, the vets yesterday im hoping that today im left alone as Ive gone from fingers to a fist in a week.
I found it very amusing. My type of thing. xx
SC 1- FARMYARD - DAY
THE FARMER IS ON HIS MOBILE PHONE.
FARMER:
I think that my sheep are coming down with some kind of lurgy. Can I arrange for the vet to attend and examine the flock please?
THERE IS A PAUSE WHILST THE FARMER LISTENS TO THE REPLY.
FARMER:
How much! Eight hundred quid for a visit from a vet!? I only want the bastards examined my ducker; not freshly prepared in a red wine jus, served with potatoes dauphinoise and mixed seasonal vegetables.
Is that really the best price you can do?
ANOTHER PAUSE AS THE FARMER LISTENS. HE ENDS THE CALL AFTER A MOMENT. HE THEN IMMEDIATELY CALLS ANOTHER NUMBER
FARMER:
Hello is that the abattoir? It’s All Creatures Great and Small School Farm here. Listen, I’ve got a job for you.
END
The last line is not a joke, it's a comment. The sheep is telling its companion exactly what happened. A joke should lead us to expect one thing then tell us another. Also try and say the last line out loud. I don't know how fast a sheep can talk but there are just too many words there. The way they teach it is you should write down everything you can think of connected with sheep...pens, dogs, whistles, gambolling, lambs, chops, butchers, mint sauce, shepherds, shepherdesses, Bo Peep, market, supermarkets, prices, sold by the pound, black sheep... Then go from 'can't take what?' Change the subject and find a funny line. There's one there.
Just to clarify I was talking about Ian's sketch not Blenkinsop's which muscled in in front of me.
Well, I haven't done sketches before, but, after Charlie's comment, this might work:
Sheep one:
What day is it?
Sheep two:
Monday.
Sheep one(upset)
I can't stand Mondays. The hardest day of the week.
Sheep two:
Why?
sheep one:
Bo Peep works on Mondays.
To be fair in my humble opinion, this is a sketch project where the best one is picked each time rather than an open invite for people to put there opinions too. I am guilty too for saying I liked it.
Sorry, I realised that after I'd done it.
Quote: Alan Alexander @ June 13, 2007, 4:52 PMOkay - your sketch lacks originality. All you have done is have two sheep tell a weak sheep shagging joke with a weak punchline.
I wish I could say something positive about it but I truly cannot.
This is a competition - not a critique as such although it appears under the title. You critiques by voting for your favourite when the competition closes next week.
Incidentally I laughed at the 2 Sheep gag - but then I would.
Quote: Charlie Adams @ June 13, 2007, 5:24 PMJust to clarify I was talking about Ian's sketch not Blenkinsop's which muscled in in front of me.
No comments please !!!!!!!!
Quote: charley rance @ June 13, 2007, 6:35 PMTo be fair in my humble opinion, this is a sketch project where the best one is picked each time rather than an open invite for people to put there opinions too. I am guilty too for saying I liked it.
Shut up and show show us your entry!!!
