British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 2,107

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 14th October 2019, 8:08 AM

It's an endless barrage from people who voted remain. A barrage that has turned to true hate.
Beyond bizarre.

Laughing out loud

You really do believe that Brexiteers are true and decent and noble and good of heart while Remainers are evil and vile and all-round hate mongers. There is such a thing as wanting the best for the country and not wanting our economoy flushed down the toilet.

Funny, when you see violent demonstrations by right wing football hooligans, it's always in favour of Brexit.

And it's always Remainer or Deal sopprting MPs that get the death threats and abuse.

Quote: chipolata @ 14th October 2019, 10:31 AM

And it's always Remainer or Deal sopprting MPs that get the death threats and abuse.

Not true - they're just the ones that the media like to report and on whom the authorities prefer to clamp down as the following report in yesterday's paper shows:

" What would you think would happen to a man who posted on Twitter the following words: 'I dearly wish a reactivated IRA would successfully blow up that scumbag Johnson and his evil cabinet'? Given what happened in Brighton on October 12, 1984, is this not especially revolting? Lest we forget, the IRA, by planting a bomb in the Grand Hotel, murdered Sir Anthony Berry, Eric Taylor, Lady (Jeanne) Shattock, Lady (Muriel) Maclean and Roberta Wakeham. Many others were severely injured, including Lord (Norman) Tebbit and his wife Margaret.

Surely the police, who relentlessly patrol Twitter for signs of political incorrectness, failures to respect the transgender community and so forth, would react with speed and strength? Well, more than a month after the offending tweet was posted on August 20, they did visit the author, a Mr Mark Powell who tweets under the name 'Markhayo'. But there was no heavy-footed dawn raid, of the type so often favoured by the modern police. Nor was his house suddenly flooded by officers going through his bedroom, as happened to Field Marshal Lord Bramall after a mad fantasist accused him of child abuse.

No, he got a wimpy letter from a police person saying, with almost unbelievable feebleness, and a clear signal that he was in no danger of prosecution: 'I apologise for the unsolicited nature of this letter, and do not wish to cause you any undue alarm; however, I do need to discuss some sensitive issues that may concern you. I would like to stress that this letter has not been sent as part of any criminal proceedings, nor are you in any trouble whatsoever.' It sought to arrange a 'convenient time to meet'.

Mr Powell displayed this letter on Twitter, saying the police had been 'very civil'. But he hadn't been. He boasted that he'd sworn at the officers, and refused to withdraw his words. He later apologised for the swearing in an email to the officers, but repeated that 'I shouldn't be sorry to see this Cabinet of traitors blown up by a rejuvenated IRA'. He then posted that email on Twitter.

One of those who had reported the outburst, a Tory councillor from Aylesbury called Gary Powell (emphatically no relation), got in touch with me after getting nowhere with Scotland Yard. He'd been told by a 'staff officer' to Commissioner Cressida Dick that the National Digital Exploitation Service and the National Counter Terrorism Security Office had deemed the tweet to be an offence. But because it was a single incident, nothing was done except 'words of advice'. So there you are. You can call for the IRA to blow up the Cabinet, and nothing will happen to you.

Alison Saunders, then Director of Public Prosecutions, announced in August 2017 a tough new policy for people who incited hatred on Twitter. Saunders said: 'Left unchallenged, even low-level offending can subsequently fuel the kind of dangerous hostility that has been plastered across our media in recent days. That is why countering it is a priority for the CPS.' Obviously not in all cases. "

And then of course there was Briosaid's post of similar sentiments a couple of weeks ago.

Apparently, there is an online petition demanding the sacking of Piers Morgan for his views on gender: the petition currently has 12,000 signatures.

Piers has responded by pointing out that he now identifies as a penguin and that to remove him from his job would, therefore, constitute animal cruelty.

Interestingly, another petition demanding that Piers be allowed to keep his job because his views are simply common sense has attracted more than 25,000 signatures.

What amazes me is that friends and family fall into either side of the Brexit debate and yet all our conversations are well natured. But online, we all seem daggers drawn.

This is a symptom of the Machiavellian Politics Trump and Boris promote. Step one is to purposefully set people against each other by inventing danger, so that people then want a strong leader (i.e. Trump / Boris) to sort it out. E.g. Mexicans are all rapist, build a wall.
They purposefully use language like "traitor" and "Surrender" as these are provocative, and its human nature for the other side to come back with the same. Promote uncompromising black and white thinking, so both sides can not compromise and lose trust in each other.

This is effective during war, but damaging during peace time. The EU can read Boris better than May (Machiavellia was Italian) so they were never going to blink first. Also we're not at war, and each side is 50:50 so this could run longer than the Irish Problem. We need to unite against lying MPs be they in the EU or UK, that's the solution. As this style of politics only really works with a captive population, leaders tend to isolate their countries and move slowly towards a police state or dictatorship. Corbyn and Boris both favore gaining more control and not allowing a second referendum. It's the MPs we should be 'aving a go at.

I remember the case of a posh young woman, an Oxbridge student, who stabbed her boyfriend in a fit of anger, was convicted of wounding him but later walked free from court as the judge did not think it appropriate to send her to prison.

Today, I read about a middle-aged working-class woman who stabbed her son in a fit of anger, was charged with attempted murder but, after the prosecution accepted a guilty plea to "wounding", has also walked free from court as the judge did not think it appropriate to send her to prison.

In the UK, women comprise only 5% of the prison population although not even the most ardent feminists are suggesting women commit only 5% of the serious crimes.

I wonder why we never hear of any "diversity initiatives" dedicated to removing gender bias from our courts' sentencing policies?

I have a vivid mental image of female ghosts who, in life, committed heinous crimes and were punished appropriately, bemoaning their fate and saying to their ghostly friends, "You know my problem? I was born too soon!"

And everybody falls about laughing. Laughing out loud

Quote: Rood Eye @ 14th October 2019, 4:53 PM

I remember the case of a posh young woman, an Oxbridge student, who stabbed her boyfriend in a fit of anger, was convicted of wounding him but later walked free from court as the judge did not think it appropriate to send her to prison.

Today, I read about a middle-aged working-class woman who stabbed her son in a fit of anger, was charged with attempted murder but, after the prosecution accepted a guilty plea to "wounding", has also walked free from court as the judge did not think it appropriate to send her to prison.

In the UK, women comprise only 5% of the prison population although not even the most ardent feminists are suggesting women commit only 5% of the serious crimes.

I wonder why we never hear of any "diversity initiatives" dedicated to removing gender bias from our courts' sentencing policies?

I have a vivid mental image of female ghosts who, in life, committed heinous crimes and were punished appropriately, bemoaning their fate and saying to their ghostly friends, "You know my problem? I was born too soon!"

And everybody falls about laughing. Laughing out loud

I'd like to test your theory that women can get away with murder nowadays (which is bollocks) by getting a woman to blugeon you to death and seeing if she gets away with it. All in the interests of a social experiment, you understand. Whistling nnocently

I know a woman. Game on.

I don't think I've ever suggested women can commit murder (literally) and hope to walk free from court when convicted.

However, lawyers and criminologists across the world accept as a fact that women in most circumstances tend to be treated more leniently than men when it comes to sentencing.

A great many women too are standing up and acknowledging the inequality.

Last year, in The Times, Clare Foges wrote:

"I am planning a life of crime, but not of punishment. This week I will steal two magnums of Dom PĂ©rignon, glug both, smash one bottle over the head of a passer-by, get in my car well over the limit and drive into a tree. If you see me on my rampage it may be best to steer clear because I'll be packing a fork to stab those who interfere. Come my day in court I have an inkling it will be OK, though, because I am a woman, youngish, with a degree: things that seem to act as a forcefield against punishment in our criminal justice system."

She's not wrong, you know. Laughing out loud

So a big part of your theory is based on a fluff opinion piece by David Cameron's ex speach writer. You've convinced me!

Quote: Rood Eye @ 14th October 2019, 12:23 PM

Piers has responded by pointing out that he now identifies as a penguin and that to remove him from his job would, therefore, constitute animal cruelty.

It really hurts me to see intolerant buffoons like Piers Morgan being lauded for taking the piss. I am genuinely trans-species, as I identify as a Yorkshire Terrier, yet when I take the piss on a tree trunk on the pavement on Lushington Road in Kensal Green, I am bullied, cursed and threatened with criminal punishment. Meanwhile, Piers Morgan is living it up at the penguin enclosure at the Peter Stringfellow Memorial Brothel. As usual it's one rule for Piers Morgan and entirely new rules for Strictly Come F**k Yourself.

Thoughts on the Booker prize, anybody? Maybe a bit if mysogynism perhaps?

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