Making love.
When it takes all night to do what you used to do all night.
(att. Monkhouse?)
Things they never told me about getting old Page 3
Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 25th March 2017, 7:00 AMAre you sure you're not one of your patients? What happens if you call out "Nurse!"? Try it just to be sure.
Definitely can't be certain. At least in a Cartesian global skepticism kind of way. There could be an evil deceiver tricking me into thinking I'm 27 when I'm actually 87. Nurse!
...No one answered, which is exactly what happens when the residents at work call for a nurse. Hmm.
Quote: playfull @ 25th March 2017, 1:50 PMMaking love.
When it takes all night to do what you used to do all night.
(att. Monkhouse?)
Yes, 100%. 
The Joke Master.
Quote: Davida Grimes @ 25th March 2017, 1:57 PM...No one answered, which is exactly what happens when the residents at work call for a nurse. Hmm.
Yerssss. I'd be worried if I was you. 
The inability to hear a new record or artist without thinking (or more usually saying) "they sound just like..." and naming some old record or group. Am i the only one with this bloody irritating habit?
Quote: playfull @ 26th March 2017, 2:42 PMThe inability to hear a new record or artist without thinking (or more usually saying) "they sound just like..."
"they sound just like shit" largely on account of auto-tune and over-production and the mainstream fondness for sounding the same. And then packaging it through over-choreographed dance-alike video clips. The so-called "talent" shows, American Idol's X Factor Strictly Got Talent, where talent is synonymous with analogous blandness, have a lot to answer for. Plenty of good new music though, but not enough making the Top 10.
There was a good South Park episode called You're Getting Old, all about new music sounding indistinguishably shite, the older one gets.
I like some of the new bands: Blondie, Squeeze, the Pogues...
Quote: Billy Bunter @ 26th March 2017, 4:05 PMI like some of the new bands: Blondie, Squeeze, the Pogues...
Quote: fopdoodle @ 25th March 2017, 12:02 PMI have to admit, I used to be quite bendy but it's getting harder and harder.
See. It's not all bad news.
Went for a walk in the park today and ended up with a sore bum. Why? Why?
However the Aldi champagne is making up for it. Watch out for my abusive posts later. Mother's Day - how can you beat it?
Quote: keewik @ 26th March 2017, 7:53 PMWent for a walk in the park today and ended up with a sore bum. Why? Why?
However the Aldi champagne is making up for it. Watch out for my abusive posts later. Mother's Day - how can you beat it?
You can't remember what you got up to in the park that gave you a sore bum?
Quote: keewik @ 26th March 2017, 7:53 PMWent for a walk in the park today and ended up with a sore bum. Why? Why?
Dirty girl!
Quote: keewik @ 26th March 2017, 7:53 PMWent for a walk in the park today and ended up with a sore bum. Why? Why?
Instead of Why Why, you should have used KY...
Quote: playfull @ 26th March 2017, 11:57 PMInstead of Why Why, you should have used KY...
I must have missed the Benny Hill Show/Carry On film that everyone else watched today.
Ha! This thread took a turn.
I could clue you all in on lots of surprising details no one ever tells you when it comes to aging and incontinence, but I'll spare you. You probably really do not want to know. I'll just keep my treasure trove of pants-shitting stories to myself (though many of them are pretty hilarious, to me anyway. Perks of the job.). How about some nursing home sex stories?....nah, probably best not.
Well, maybe just one. So, there's this old couple at the place I work, well, not a couple exactly. More of a confused love-triangle. There's a man with dementia who 80% of the time thinks this other woman who lives on the memory care ward with him is his wife. And she can't remember that he isn't her wife, so they hold hands, and sip each other's coffee, bicker like an old married couple, whisper garbled sweet nothings into each other's ears, and if the caregivers aren't paying enough attention will occasionally lock themselves in the bathroom together or climb into one another's beds and get up to...I don't even know what. The man's actual wife doesn't have dementia, and lives down the street from the facility. She comes to visit him most days, and for the 20% of the time that she's there, he remembers that she's his wife....while also still thinking the other woman is his wife. He doesn't register any logical inconsistency and will carry on a conversation with his actual wife while holding hands with the other woman. The wife is very understanding though, and somehow doesn't mind her husband's romantic attachment to the other woman. I'm not entirely sure what my point was. I guess maybe that they never tell you getting old can lead to accidental love triangles.
Only if you're properly old though. You lot aren't properly old.