I thought Beaky employed someone to get him out of his pants...
Things they never told me about getting old Page 2
Quote: Billy Bunter @ 24th March 2017, 9:24 PMI do enjoy the gravitas of becoming older - the way that groups of young people on street corners will doff their caps as I walk past and bid me good morrow, for example.
Is 'Good morrow' cunningly disguised in the words 'F**k off you old codger'?
Quote: keewik @ 24th March 2017, 8:51 PMHow the hell can you see your ears?
'Tis the work of the devil my lady. A fiendish device the villagers call ............. a mirror.
Typical......... a mere child (I am 58) started this thread and I get the impression that all of you who have posted are of a similar age.
You think you have problems NOW? 
You wait anot........ 
Quote: Will Cam @ 24th March 2017, 10:10 PM'Tis the work of the devil my lady. A fiendish device the villagers call ............. a mirror.
No! I can't see my ears any way. .Maybe I'm deformed.
You can't see your ears in a mirror?
Quote: Will Cam @ 24th March 2017, 11:10 PMYou can't see your ears in a mirror?
A Scottish vampire?
You're supposed to take off the balaclava when you get indoors.
Of course I can't see them. I'm not a bloody owl, or (worse) Prince Charles, whose ears can probably be seen from the moon. My ears are wee neat things.
Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 24th March 2017, 10:58 PMTypical......... a mere child (I am 58) started this thread and I get the impression that all of you who have posted are of a similar age.
You think you have problems NOW?
I was born in 1946 (or 19hundred and frozen to death in the Julian calender).That makes me .....um....errrr....half past three ....
Sometimes I think I was born old. I have way more in common with the dementia patients I take care of at work than people my own age. That might just be because they're fairly out of their minds like I am. Most of them can't remember that they can't remember anything, so they usually forget to upset about their forgetfulness. Kind of makes things easier sometimes. They also find themselves laughing at the hilarious word salad that they can't help but come up with, and I definitely get a kick out of it too. Dementia is awful in so many ways, but I hope it's not too un-PC of me to say that as a silver lining, it can be a comedic goldmine. As long as I'm laughing with them and not at them, anyway. For instance, one of my favorite ladies at work today turned to me, pointed to the deck of cards I was holding and exclaimed: "Boy...those crackers look like they have a lotta salt!" We both lost it.
(For the record, I'm 27, and fully acknowledge that I have almost no idea what it's actually like to be old, and that I am probably ridiculously naive, and can't even properly grasp how much I've missed. Born in the wrong decade and in the wrong country. And also, I can't put pants without leaning against a wall...I can see my ears in a mirror though.)
Quote: Davida Grimes @ 25th March 2017, 5:02 AMSometimes I think I was born old. I have way more in common with the dementia patients I take care of at work than people my own age. That might just be because they're fairly out of their minds like I am. Most of them can't remember that they can't remember anything, so they usually forget to upset about their forgetfulness.
Are you sure you're not one of your patients? What happens if you call out "Nurse!"? Try it just to be sure. 
I have to admit, I used to be quite bendy but it's getting harder and harder to reach my back with my razor.
Quote: Billy Bunter @ 24th March 2017, 6:08 PMAlways wear a flat cap - this will enable you to claim any discount for OAPs with no questions asked. Especially useful if you are still a couple of years short of the qualifying age.
It might also get you a seat on a crowded tube train.
Great tip! I have bought my wife one and will let you know how she gets on.
Quote: fopdoodle @ 25th March 2017, 12:02 PMI have to admit, I used to be quite bendy
I bet you were...........say no more! 