Hear about the actress who curves in the right way? Julie Benz.

Disney cartoon about shagging women who chase animals. Poke a huntress.

Orgy at a carpet shop. Shag pile.

After months of turning down my requests to meet him, the hit and run killer of my wife finally agreed to let me go and see him face to face in prison.

To be fair, he's probably got fed up of the chocolates, cakes and thank you cards that I've been sending him.

Orgy. First served, first come.

I booked a fingerless call girl to my hotel room last night, I asked for a blow job but she just palmed me off.

As if painting a family member wasn't difficult enough for an art project, without my mum grounding me for rollering her tits with emulsion.

I farted while lifting a heavy object today.

I had to apologise to the man at the next urinal.

If people with Dementia ever think euthanasia will be legalised, they can forget about it.

Quote: Nick81 @ 2nd March 2016, 8:38 AM GMT

After months of turning down my requests to meet him, the hit and run killer of my wife finally agreed to let me go and see him face to face in prison.

To be fair, he's probably got fed up of the chocolates, cakes and thank you cards that I've been sending him.

View original

nowthat's a good joke

Quote: Sam Goetzee @ 2nd March 2016, 12:41 PM GMT

If people with Dementia ever think euthanasia will be legalised, they can forget about it.

View original

and so's this one.

"

When I'm looking for a girlfriend, its not the outer beauty I look at, its the inside, ready for when I harvest her organs.

I went to Calais to ask one of the migrants a question;

"So, Britain, in or out of Europe?"

I didn't get a good answer out of him.

He was on the fence.

I tried being a transvestite once but it was a real struggle, a real struggle to get my fat, hairy arse into my sisters mini skirts.

I got thrown out of the British Tit Appreciation Club.

I didn't know they were ornithologists.

I'm an alien and ejaculate into vegetables. It's OK. I come in peas.