Avengers: Endgame - The Guestimates
What do our Avengers aficionados reckon will happen next?
Yes, a year after the infamous 'snap', Avengers: Endgame is finally upon us. You may remember that this time last year we asked a bunch of comics what they thought would happen in Avengers: Infinity War, but 'annihilating half of civilisation' wasn't high among the answers.
Really, who saw that coming? And of all the UK comedy alumni involved, only Nebula - aka former Kevin Bishop Show regular Karen Gillan - survived the snap, and looks to be a heavy hitter this time around. Although maybe Benedict '15 Stories High' Wong still has a big part to play, too.
With Thanos' mighty victory now part of movie folklore, we asked another mighty line-up of comics for their Endgame thoughts. Will Cap or Iron Man meet their makers? How will our comedians cope with a three-hour runtime? And what's that about a Billy Ray Cyrus comic?
All will be revealed. Excelsior!
Bec Hill
Splendid comic, flipcharter and superhero-stuff presenter, has a sci-fi-sounding new Edinburgh Fringe show coming soon.
What's the plot of Endgame then, Bec?
All the dust people didn't die, they're just invisible.
Blimey
Endgame is a series of sketches where 'surviving' Avengers try to sit down and chairs get pulled out from under them by their naughty invisible friends. At the end, they realise what happened because Spiderman gets covered in flour in a prank gone wrong and everyone has a good laugh. Iron Man says, "ok, ok, that was very funny, but the game ends here." Then Captain America says, "you mean Endgame here!" And he winks at the camera. Credits roll.
Is there an extra bit?
After credits, Stan Lee comes out and is like "also I'm alive!" Everyone cheers and goes to the pub, but no one is made to feel bad if they don't want to drink. The end(game). I know this is what happens, because I went to the future. If you want to know more about the future, come to my Edinburgh Fringe show I'll Be Bec at The Pleasance Dome at 17:40...
The JustUs League
Gary Tro and Javier Jarquin, currently touring their mighty MARVELus show (and prepping two new Edinburgh Fringe hours).
What did you make of the trailers and clip?
The trailers are great, really ramp up the emotion and how epic this movie will be. Wouldn't put it past Marvel to bluff us a bit in the trailer like Infinity War. We noticed that there's been zero footage of Hulk in any clip so far - surely keeping it a nice unseen moment in the film.
We are so goddamn excited and that's what a trailer's supposed to do. Well done MARVEL. You had us at hello.
What'll happen at the end, who survives, and who dies?
Jav: I believe there's going to be some time travel solution (using Quantum realm) to undo the Snap but at a tremendous cost - i.e. Cap dies.
Gary: Alternate dimensions come into play. Iron Man dies.
Jay: Gary and I also had a tiff about something happening on the premier date: check out the video on our twitter.
And where does the MCU go next - what's the next big arc?
Well, with the rights to the X-Men and Fantastic 4 in Disney's hands now they'll surely be working on ways to introduce them into the MCU but probably not for a while yet. We think a new core team of Avengers will take over - Spider Man, Dr Strange, Thor, Captain Marvel and younger heroes will start to be introduced like Kate Bishop. WE. CAN'T. WAIT.
Tiernan Douieb
Marvellous stand-up and host of The Partly Political Podcast. Gillian Anderson once shaved his back.
What's your plan for seeing Endgame?
I am already booked in for an 11.15am showing on Friday 26th. I would go to a midnight screening the night before but it turns out finding someone to look after your one year-old daughter with the caveat 'but I need to know how they defeat Thanos' isn't easy.
What did you make of the trailers, clip, etc?
The trailers made me want to run around jumping on things. So many questions: How does Tony get back to Earth? Will all the dead people come back? Where's Steve's beard gone? Did it disappear when Thanos clicked his fingers? Why is Hawkeye now an emo kid? If Captain Marvel is a Captain and so is Captain America who turns around first when someone says Cap? I can't wait to find out.
So who'll survive... or not?
I've got a feeling no one will die, except they will but then there'll be some time reversal craziness that means they don't and then they do again but then they don't again. In the Marvel comics, no one really dies except Uncle Ben and he's now been killed off so many times in movies I think even the MCU owes him another go.
Oh wait, Thanos will probably die. Or at least get so defeated he realises his only future career now is to join the California Raisins. And at three hours long my bladder will also die.
And where does the MCU go next - what's the next big arc?
Personally, I'm hoping they go weird. So more Howard the Duck, a film of the Billy Ray Cyrus comic Marvel briefly published in 1995, Care Bears, and then a film of Hellcow, culminating in a team movie that causes a ton of people to have weird acid flashbacks.
I think they're actually going to focus on more space/god stuff like The Eternals, which if Avengers: Endgame is three hours, who knows how long that'll be?