The 2014 Festival officially started a few days ago and we're already broken. Not really, but if we weren't trying to follow these survival tips, we could already be in the belly of the Fringe Beast. Edinburgh veterans will know the beast - and its signature weapons of late nights, beige food and alcoholic water - well. All beautiful things in their own right, but when combined daily over a month, can crush even the strongest human. These are the 5 ways we hope to survive this glorious month:

1. EXPECTATIONS: You've been working for months on your show and (hopefully) you love it but don't get caught up in reviews, comparisons with other shows and all the success / failure stories you hear. Just concentrate on making the best show you can and having a fucking great time.

2. NOT EVERYONE IS AT THE FRINGE: It's important to remember that not everyone is in the Edinburgh bubble. When you speak to friends and loved ones, even if you are exhausted/drunk/stressing about audience numbers, make sure that you ask them how they are and what's happening in their lives. Even if you hold the phone away from your face and simultaneously try to flyer someone. The world outside this city is still happening (apparently) and must be returned to. Also, keep reading the news.

3. ALONE TIME: This month is so intense. You're living, working and spending vast amounts of time with the same people and it can be overwhelming. Make sure you take some time to spend alone and escape the madness for a little while. It sounds a touch melancholic but it does do the world of good to not think about your show and get away from any in-house politics for a while. Pretty much everyone considers climbing Arthur's Seat whilst they're up here but if you do need to clear your head, there aren't many better ways to do it. And you don't have to get all the way to his seat. Maybe just his knee or his ankle.

4. KEEP IN CONTACT WITH VEGETABLES: "Remember me? My name is Spinach and I will save your life." No one is disputing how fun it is to eat pies, noodles and toast but don't abandon vegetables this month - they will keep you going in a way that Berocca can't.

5. ALCOPOPS: When there is a bar around every corner, it's easy to substitute water for gin. However, we're up here for a month and you might end up a hollow shell if you party hard every night. (Unless you're 21, in which case you can handle it and we resent your bounteous youth.) Pick and choose your nights to cut loose, it's okay to not drink heavily every night. Honest. You might feel the pressure at the time, but when you wake up and aren't full of kebab and still wearing your jeans, you'll be happy; possibly bordering on smug.

Lazy Susan: Extreme Humans is on at 7pm daily (not 12th) at Pleasance Courtyard. Listing