What's a telegram?

Quote: playfull @ 19th August 2015, 1:49 AM BST

What's a telegram?

View original

It's the measurement used to weigh TVs.

Sitting here in my underwear watching videos of professional fights that have lasted less than 1 minute!
Or, to put it better!
I'm watching Boxer Shorts, in my Boxer Shorts!!!!

I put five Rowan Atkinsons in the fridge. Cool Beans.

In desperation LizKendall has recruited WilliamShatner to her campaign, she's banking on his Corbyn fight maneuver

Quote: Will Cam @ 19th August 2015, 12:00 AM BST

That joke's just got a telegram from the Queen.

View original

Ok then...

Why did gay Dracula leave the boxing match? Because he was count outed.

My underwear runs a mile whenever I get near them. Scaredy Pants.

I attend emotional conventions to make my text messages send faster. My mate told me to make sure I use emoticons for quickness.

My girl friend said I had a lovely bum.

I really can't see it myself.

Told my wife her bum looked big and she got so upset she did herself an injury. You should never look back in anger.

My girlfirends got a peachy bum
Orange & furry

While driving, a camel fell in front of me. Just a bump in the road.

I have a squirrel delivery service. It's been driving me nuts all day.

Where does the witch keep her lion? In the wardrobe.

the middle one is great, the other 2 are beyond awful.

Work out why that is and you'll learn much about joke writing.

Quote: sootyj @ 20th August 2015, 1:47 PM BST

the middle one is great, the other 2 are beyond awful.

Work out why that is and you'll learn much about joke writing.

View original

I felt the same way when I wrote them but I posted them just for the sake of it. So, I do agree.

Here's one with a limited audience:

The Undertaker's brother stands at the ready. So he's Kane and able.

Mick Jagger has just started dating Kate Moss. Who says a rolling stone gathers no moss ?

I told Jade Jagger to stop quoting Temptations lyrics. She said, 'Papa was a Rolling Stone.'