| Harry Enfield |
Sir Norbert Smith |
| Charles Simon |
Old Duffer |
| Stewart Harwood |
Mr. Wilkinson |
| Peter Goodwright |
Will Silly |
| George Raistrick |
Melvyn Merry |
| Renée Asherson (as Renee Asherson) |
Lady Norbert |
| Simon Godley |
Barney |
| Charles Pemberton |
Policeman |
| Moray Watson |
Sir Donald Stuffy |
| Josie Lawrence |
Ruby Lawrence |
| John Elmes |
Horatio |
| Felicity Montagu |
Cecilia Johanson |
| David Henry |
Harry Crabbe |
| Gareth Vaughan |
Western Mayor |
| Jane Snowden |
Clementine |
| Mike Kelly |
Dick Dotty |
| Catherine Chevalier |
Mary Beethoven |
| Mary Chilton |
Sarah Brightman |
| Joe McGann |
Brian Beale |
| Joe McGann |
Ken |
| Susan Field |
Mrs. Grim |
| Jenny Funnell (as Jenny Funnel) |
Eileen |
| Christopher Edis |
Baby |
| Adam Woods |
Our Kid Grim |
| Karl Bonworth |
Our Kid Next Door |
| Geoffrey Chater |
Cyril Freebody |
| Con O'Neill (as Con O'Neil) |
Davy Throbb |
| Amanda Walker |
Mrs. Wilson |
| Henry Power |
Billy |
| Michael Godley |
German General |
| John Golightly |
German Sergeant |
| Stefan Bednarczyk |
German Officer |
| Jeffrey Harmer |
Herr Luytmen |
| Jack Douglas |
Greenham Guard |
| Barbara Windsor |
Greenham Womens' Leader |
| Kenneth Connor |
Greenham Officer |
| Jana Sheldon |
Woman in Bubbles |
| Melvyn Bragg |
Self |