Darlington Comedy Festival 2013 - the line-up revealed

Performers include Sarah Millican, Jason Cook and Lost Voice Guy Lee Ridley.

In the last series, Bob Mortimer was responsible for one of the show's classic moments when he claimed to be able to tear an apple in half with his bare hands. After an interrogation by David Mitchell that reduced Patsy Kensit to hysterics, Mitchell's team decided he was lying. He wasn't - and, to everyone's delight, he proved it.

Mortimer returns tonight and we can only hope for similarly priceless TV. Other guests include RT's own Sarah Millican (who once claimed on the show to have weed on a car seat and blamed it on the dog) and actor David Harewood. If we don't get a Homeland-related anecdote/fabrication from him, it'll be very disappointing.

The last laugh: another club to close

Sarah Millican, Michael McIntyre and John Bishop have all played the Laugh Inn in the past three years - but it wasn't enough.

Comfortably positioned in a post-watershed slot, homely Sarah Millican's performance at London's Hammersmith Apollo is almost allowed full rein as the comedy equivalent of a harlot in saint's clothing lets rip in front of an audience. Don't let the butter-wouldn't-melt look fool you - if you're fretting about how to navigate your way through an orgy, Millican's on hand with some expert advice. Who'd have thought?

RT columnist and recent Bafta nominee Sarah Millican really knows how to prey on our deepest fears as she mines through to the heart of what humanity is all about. No, not really, she's just a good laugh. She unplugs her toaster at night because she worries that it might "toast the air" and is constantly engaged in a wordless battle with exercise equipment in this film of her hugely successful stage show.

The gags are delivered with Millican's patented sly warmth so even the mucky bits can't possibly offend. As always, Millican is the naughty auntie you always wished for.

The latest comedian to try their hand at hosting a chat show with mixed success, Sarah Millican is back in her element for this 2011 show recorded at the Hammersmith Apollo and re-edited for TV from the DVD release.

It's fair to say the stand-up circuit isn't short on observational comedy, but Millican can usually be relied upon to use her blowsy delivery to smuggle through some genuine filth, whether she's discussing how to make a homemade treadmill or the practicalities of having an orgy.

It's largely relaxed, optimistic and unchallenging fare: if you're one of those who made her the best-selling female comedian ever by buying her debut DVD, then you'll know exactly what to expect and won't be disappointed.

Sarah Millican became Britain's best-selling female comedian ever with her debut DVD.

This is a TV-edited version of her second DVD, recorded at London's Hammersmith Apollo during her last national tour. Spending an hour in her company feels as comfortable as a pair of comedy slippers.

As one of the few Loose Women panellists you wouldn't be afraid to meet in a dark alley, Millican's unique selling point is her very ordinariness and she has the audience eating out of the palm of her hand with her down-to-earth observations, self-deprecating humour and rudeness diluted through that Geordie accent.

Part of Millican's act sees her dividing people into either thrill-seeking bumper cars or safe and sensible dodgems, like herself. She claims that just starting a new tea towel is excitement enough.

Such is her success, she could afford a new tea towel every day if she wanted, of course. Would her heart be able to take it?

Sarah Millican: Old people are funny, flirty and farty

"Old is not a personality type. Just something you occasionally feel when a nine-year-old policeman pulls you over, or you find your first white beard hair"

Sarah Millican: I'm normal, they're A-list

"I'm weirdly more comfortable in front of a studio audience and telly cameras than at any dinner party. There are fewer forks"

Sarah Millican: When I eat a pasty I should feel wrong

"To bridge the gap between series of The Great British Bake Off I have fallen into some bad habits..."