Kunt confirms fourth Christmas chart attempt

Sunday 5th November 2023, 1:21pm by Ian Wolf

  • Kunt has announced his fourth attempt at the Christmas music chart, under new name The Krackpots
  • Unlike his previous attempts, Proper Christmas will contain no swearing
  • His previous singles - attacking subjects such as Boris Johnson - reached No. 5, No. 5 and No. 7 respectively

Musical comedian Kunt has announced his latest attempt to become the Christmas No. 1, this time is going down a more traditional festive route.

He will release new single Proper Christmas under the band name The Krackpots.

The new release follows controversial politicised chart attempts by his band The Kunts. They've previously performed expletive-laden Boris Johnson is a Fucking Cunt (No. 5 in 2020), Boris Johnson is STILL a Fucking Cunt (No. 5 in 2021) and Fuck the Tories (No. 7 in 2022), as well as anti-monarchist tracks Prince Andrew is a Sweaty Nonce (No. 20 in 2022) and the swear-free Scrap the Monarchy under new name The Krown Jewels (No. 9 in May 2023, and No. 1 in the independent singles chart).

Proper Christmas is performed to the same tune as Fuck the Tories, but - like with Scrap the Monarchy - this song will be free of swearing. In an email newsletter Kunt wrote: "I've channelled some of my favourite Slade, Chas and Dave and Madness records to make a nostalgic love letter to the perfectly imperfect Christmases of my childhood in the late 70s and early 80s. Of course, I'm only in my mid 30s, but a bloke can imagine..."

Listen to an extract of 'The Krackpots - Proper Christmas' on Soundcloud

As with his previous attempts, the band are planning to release multiple versions of the song in order to secure a higher chart position, with each sale from different platforms counting towards the total. Scrap the Monarchy ended up with 34 versions. Kunt has put out an appeal to his fans asking them to record their own versions to sell.

Kunt's attempts to climb up the Christmas charts have had many setbacks, especially a lack of media coverage and airtime given by mainstream broadcasters. The BBC has repeated refused to play his songs or even name The Kunts in their chart countdown. Kunt has also had his YouTube channel taken down numerous times.

The current dominator of the festive charts is YouTuber LadBaby (Mark Hoyle), who has topped the Christmas charts for a record five years in a row with his sausage roll-themed charity singles.

21st November update

LadBaby have announced that they would not be releasing a Christmas single in 2023. In response, Kunt posted on social media: "Like LadBaby, we are retiring from the Xmas No 1 race. After 5 years of sausage roll hell, the UK deserves a proper Xmas No 1 so we are backing Proper Christmas by The Krackpots, a mystery band who no one knows the identity of, a bit like Banksy."

An official website for Proper Christmas has been launched, revealing that the song will be released on 8th December under the label Official Kulture. properchristmas.info

Share this page