Live Comedy
Lucy Porter: No Regrets
Frank Sinatra had too few regrets to mention, but Lucy's got hundreds, and she's prepared to go into graphic detail about all of them. Disastrous dates, professional calamities, ruined friendships and parenting fails. No Regrets sees Lucy reveal all the mistakes she's made, works out why they happened, and ponders how her life would have turned out if she'd acted differently.
Lucy will also look at the thoughts and actions we might all collectively regret - not sticking to the work-life balance we strove for during lockdown, not realising that clapping for the NHS wouldn't be enough to save it, allowing people we thought were quite fun on TV to become politicians.
How does regret tie in with guilt and shame? As a middle-aged, middle-class, left-leaning ex-Catholic, guilt is one of Lucy's top five hobbies (along with going to the garden centre, doing jigsaws, making bread and watching subtitled foreign dramas on Netflix. She's also ashamed of all these hobbies.)
It's not all negative though. If you regret something, you can use it to change your ways: see the thing you regret as your rock bottom, and let it spur you on to become a better person. Lucy looks at how she can use shameful or annoying elements from her past to change her future.
Lucy regrets volunteering at the school fete when her kids were younger, because now she's committed to being the Hook a Duck Lady twice a year for the rest of her life. So maybe this is a life lesson - and maybe she could learn to say "no" a bit more? And maybe 2024 could be the year where she finally, genuinely has no regrets.
2024 dates
21 Sep: Maidenhead Norden Farm
26 Sep: Tunbridge Wellstrinity Theatre
27 Sep: Hemel Old Town Hall
28 Sep: Hemel Old Town Hall
03 Oct: Finchley Arts Depot
04 Oct: Selby Town Hall
05 Oct: Otley Courthouse
11 Oct: Havant The Spring
12 Oct: Havant The Spring
18 Oct: Swindon Arts Centre
19 Oct: Aldershot West End Centre
01 Nov: Bordon Phoenix Arts Centre
02 Nov: Taunton Brewhouse
09 Nov: Colchester Arts Centre
15 Nov: Bristol Hen And Chickens
16 Nov: Didcot Cornerstone
22 Nov: Basingstoke The Haymarket
23 Nov: Coventry Warwick Arts Centre
29 Nov: New Milton Forest Arts Centre
30 Nov: Maidstone Hazlitt
06 Dec: Guildford G Live
14 Dec: Guildford G Live
2025 dates
17 Jan: Cambridge Junction
18 Jan: Epsom Playhouse
24 Jan: Luton Hat Factory
25 Jan: London Blackheath Halls
31 Jan: Farnham Maltings
01 Feb: Beccles Public Hall
07 Feb: Shrewsbury Theatre Severn
08 Feb: Leicester The Y
09 Feb: Lincolnshire The Ropewalk
14 Feb: Folkestone Quarterhouse
15 Feb: Isle Of Wight Quay Arts
22 Feb: Southend Palace Theatre
28 Feb: Norwich Playhouse
01 Mar: Crawley The Hawth
07 Mar: York Crescent
08 Mar: Milton Keynes The Stables
14 Mar: Southampton The Attic
15 Mar: Chelmsford Theatre
22 Mar: Salisbury Arts Centre
23 Mar: Dorking Halls
02 Apr: Banbury The Mill
03 Apr: Leeds The Wardrobe
04 Apr: Birmingham Mac
05 Apr: Reading South Street Arts Centre
Press
- 14th February: Lucy Porter to tour No Regrets across 2024 and 2025