Written by: One random comedian, eight random questions; it's the ultimate test of funny person and fate. This festive week it's a duo whose very name suggests 'all the trimmings' - it's The Delightful Sausage. Amy Gledhill and Chris Cantrill got all critically-acclaimed in 2019 with a well-deserved Edinburgh Comedy Award nomination, but couldn't follow it this year, for obvious reasons.
Or could they? It was time for the DS to go online, with a typically unique podcast which has now spawned an end-of-season spectacular. It's bloody marvelous.
"Live at the Icklewick Palladium is the first special episode of our sleep avoidance podcast, Tiredness Kills," says Cantrill. "We've been working on it for months with our incredibly gifted producer Jack Evans. We're also quietly confident it's the most disgusting piece of audio ever recorded."
Gledhill elaborates. "It's got an amazing cast including Poppy Hillstead, Sean Morley, Jake Yapp and Sunil Patel (to name but a few)."
"We're also really chuffed to introduce everyone to Niahm. She's the voice saying "I got a tattoo..." And you'd be forgiven for thinking it was a joke, but she ACTUALLY GOT A TIREDNESS KILLS TATTOO - so we put her in the special and sent her name to the police."
It is the season of goodwill, after all. So will Cantrill and Gledhill be hunkering down with the folks (where legal) and watching any Christmas telly? "We've taken the decision to hibernate this festive season," says Chris, "but not before we've watched the Mortimer & Whitehouse: Gone Fishing special!"
And so say all of us. The Delightful Sausage, your Random 8 await:
Who was your first on-screen crush, and ever met them?
Amy: I think it was Noddy. Always helping others, twinkly blue eyes, and dat car. Woof! Not met yet but not in any way giving up.
Chris: Paula Abdul, and sadly not - she had a big gate!
Your most regrettable purchase?
Amy: 2020 has been an odd year for us all and we're all processing it in different ways.
Chris: ...which is Amy's quirky way of saying 'loads and loads of Scalextric'.
What's your favourite shop, and why?
Chris: Hale & Plaice. A local fish emporium that does birthdays, business meetings and funerals.
Amy: Ikea. Favourite shop and holiday destination.
Do you have a signature dance move?
Chirs: I've earned a reputation as being a gifted free-form dancer with a natural rhythm which can soften even the coldest of hearts. My signature move is called 'World Peace' and it can most often be found at the centre of awestruck crowds.
Amy: I just let the music take me... usually into the arms of a thick-fingered security guard.
What's the weirdest thing you ever saw?
Amy: Weird stuff is really our bread and butter. On our travels we've seen a woman explode, a crowd in Edinburgh not laugh once for a WHOLE THIRTY MINUTES and a baby as big as a skip.
Chris: We got stuck on the M62 overnight and saw summat horrible in a trucker's cab; think about it every damn day.
Which British town should be abolished?
Chris: Cardiff. Turn it into a car park or summat.
Amy: Yes. 100%. They know what they did.
What's the most extravagant thing you've ever done?
Chris: We've recently had a bit of a splurge on some tech so we're all set for making Tiredness Kills and doing our twitch stream. We've got microphones, green screens and webcams. Very fancy.
Amy: Chris has also waxed an inordinate sum on what he's calling an 'Elite Gaming PC'. He says it's for work but it's very clearly for shooting orcs with American teenagers.
How do you feel about cats (the animal, not the musical)?
Amy: We feel exactly the same about the musical as we do about the IRL animal. Not in the house. And if we can hear it in the garden, we're probably gonna have to get the SuperSoaker out.