At age 35, Mark Cram has decided he's probably never going to have or want children - but that's not going to stop him from being an amazing parent. Join the award-winning comedian as he talks through how he would raise his hypothetical child in an ever more problematic world. Covering everything from conception and discipline to inevitable ghost sightings - this is the definitive guide to parenting that nobody needed or asked for. That poor kid. As heard on BBC Sounds: Unexpected Fluids. Host of Laugh Out Proud Comedy. Bedford Comedian of the Year 2013.