I find this is a very visual sketch more than anything so I'd be interested to find out what you think of it without my strange imagination.

SCENE. INT. ELETRONICS SHOP. DAY.

A man enters the busy shop. Everyone is going about there business.

All of a sudden the power cuts out and people seem confused by the situation then the numbers 666 appear everywhere as lightening strikes outside. People begin screaming.

WOMEN - (screaming) The devils numbers! Run for your life!

The man now starts looking worried as he see's prices changing.

CUT TO: a sign for a TV set change from £499 to £666 (the man screams)

CUT TO: another sign this time for a washing machine changes from £150 to £666 (again the man screams in horror)

CUT TO: a sign for a DVD player that says £24.99 changes to £6.66.

The man stops screaming

MAN - Wow, that's cheap!

He picks up the DVD player and walks to the counter there is know one there to serve him.

People are still running in fear as the walls begin to bleed.

MAN - (tutting) Customer service has really gone down hill at Curry’s.

END.

lol. It was good. If you got rid of the last bit, it would work as an advert.

Hi Paul - agree with the Evil Lee on this one. If it stopped at the guy changing his whole attitude when he sees the bargain that would make it a great wee sketch in my opinion - so nice one. Might want to keep an eye out on your spelling as there are several errors and most people on here as you know are quite particular (rightly so) when it comes to presentation / layout / spelling etc as you need to make it as reader-friendly as possible. I usually give my own posts yet another read even after I've posted just in case and edit it accordingly if I do any typos (which I DO do).
Keep 'em coming!
Cheers,
Andy

I am quite annoyed at myself actually I hate making mistakes like that. It's my mistake for not checking like I normally do... I apologise

"my apologise" ...very nice Paul!!

Hey Paul

It's good but I can't help thinking the last line should be along the lines of 'Customer service has really *improved* at Curry's!'

Dan

Paul, agree with Andy ending it at the attitude change, it is very funny and the comment about customer service only diluted the gag.

Swertyd, very sharp. Andy, too.

Quote: Andy W. @ February 23, 2007, 4:02 PM

"my apologise" ...very nice Paul!!

View original

OMG me not spell good today!!!!!! *runs away from computer*

Yeah thanks guys glad you like it... I appear to be having a dodgy spelling/grammar day today (being stupid doesn’t help).

Yeah swery your change would be a lot better.

Me not good at English? That's unpossible.