This one's a bit silly but I kinda like it (don't let that stop you being brutally honest though - that's what this place is for after all).
Cheers,
Andy

WE ARE IN A SMALL ROOM WITH A SOLITARY DESK. THERE IS A DOCTOR ON ONE SIDE AND A VERY SAD AND UNHAPPY LOOKING MAN ON THE OTHER. THERE IS A LARGE SIGN ON THE WALL READING ‘ALLERGY CLINIC’.

DOCTOR
Welcome Sir, can I have your name please.

ADAM
Adam (SCRATCHES HIS FACE). Ow!

DOCTOR
Surname?

ADAM
Anderson (SCRATCHES HIS HEAD). Ouch!

DOCTOR
What seems to be the problem.

ADAM
Every time I mention the first letter of the…you know..the….

DOCTOR
Alphabet?

ADAM
Yes – if I mention words which cont….incorpor……you get the picture - I get this itchy feeling everywhere – it hurts like hell. Just in telling you this I’m trying so much not to. I need your help Doctor – it’s killing me.

DOCTOR
Very unusual, does this happen every time?

ADAM
Always (SCRATCHES HIS NECK AND SQUEELS IN PAIN).

THE DOCTOR GOES OVER TO A SHELF AND PULLS DOWN A VERY LARGE, THICK BOOK AND BLOWS A THICK LAYER OF DUST OFF IT. HE STARTS TO FLICK THROUGH THE PAGES WHILE GOING BACK TO HIS SEAT.

DOCTOR
My trusty old ‘Rare Allergy Bible’ – if it isn’t in here it just doesn’t exist. (STOPS AT PAGE) Here we go – ‘alphabetus scratchum hurticus’ – more commonly know as ‘A’ fever.

ADAM
A-Fever? (SCRATCHES CHEST AGAIN IN PAIN). Tell me Doctor, is there something in there you think might help?

DOCTOR
Good news and bad news I’m afraid. Good news is that there is a cure.

ADAM
The bad? (SCRATCHES HIS HEAD). Ouch.

DOCTOR
Bad news is that it only works in one case in every thousand.

ADAM
Well, I guess I’ve not much option. You must tell me, I’m begging you.

DOCTOR
OK, lets give it a go. First, tilt your head back.

ADAM
(TILTING HEAD BACK) Go on.

DOCTOR
Touch your left arm with you right hand.

ADAM
(DOING AS HE’S TOLD) Next?

DOCTOR
Now stand on one leg and cough as loudly as possible.

ADAM
(STAND UP ON ONE LEG AND COUGHS VERY LOUDLY).

DOCTOR
If it’s worked, you should be able to speak properly now.

ADAM
Aardvarks, artichokes, amputated arm, my name is Adam Anderson. It’s worked, it’s worked!

ADAM JUMPS UP AND DOWN AND RUNS AROUND THE ROOM SHOUTING NUMEROUS WORDS BEGINNING WITH THE LETTER ‘A’.

DOCTOR
Excellent news. My work here seems to be done. (LOOKS AGAIN AT THE BOOK). Oh bugger!

ADAM
(STOPS WHAT HE IS DOING AND LOOKS AT THE DOCTOR CONCERNED) What is it Doc?

DOCTOR
It’s AIRBORNE! (SCRATCHES HEAD, NECK, BACK, CHEST, FACE etc)

THEUS ENDUM

Not bad, I like silly comedy, especially like here when the characters are behaving normally and the situation is silly.

I think between the doctor saying "Good news and bad news..." and "If it’s worked, you should be able to speak properly..." I would cut all that. It just gets in the way for me. have the doctor give him a tablet or something and move on.

I also think it would be quite funny too if the doctor is a bit mean and amused by his patient and maybe asks him questions to get a response with an 'A' in.

I love it -it reminds me of The Two Ronnies but that's no bad thing.

It's a great sketch Andy.

I'd defintely make the patient adam ant though

I liked this and before I saw the comments others have left I was thinking Two Ronnies and agree this is no bad thing.

Thought it was quite original (though obviously now The Two Ronnies have been mentioned it isn't!) and I liked it. It was a bit different.

Agree about the cutting out the unnecessary stuff ('touch your left arm...') as you don't need it and it's not particularly funny. If you do, you'll have an excellent short sketch.

Well done.

Dan

Agree with the other posters, basically I liked it.

The last line sounds like the Austrian Nazi in Sum of All Fears which has absolutely no relevence to anything so i'll move on. Its very good but could be shortened a little or lines could be subsituted for more jokes. It depends on what style its done in, if its like the Two Ronnies I would keep the word play but if its more surreal, like Big Train or Jam, you may want to extend the pauses and cut some lines. These are stylistic issues but the sketch is structually sound i think.

Thanks for the feedback guys. Ronnie B is actually by biggest influence as I just love his kind of comedy (especially the Two Ronnies stuff) so if it is anything like that then I am more than happy. I will make a few small adjustments though as you guys have suggested.
Cheers,
Andy