Hi dudes and Mrs dudes I'm steaming along with a new episode of my sitcom taken a break from checking grammar on xmas episode was hurting my brain so I thought I'd post a scene from new ep to see what ya'll think.
Just a note Mike's just come back from a child shrink who, after a probing has found that he is the reason his boy is emotionally dysfunctional.

INT. NEWMAN'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Mike and Sara lie in bed Sara reads a magazine.

MIKE
It's not like a proper, real life situation anyway is it? It's performing elaborate fantasies. With massive farcical events that no man could possibly know how to deal with. Not without a good hardy sit down and a cup of tea.

Sara isn't listening, she continues reading her magazine.

MIKE
What a nerve calling me insensitive. ME! I put the toilet seat down after I use it. Even though it makes my toilet expedition 15 seconds longer.

SARA
Well you can be a bit crass sometimes sweetie. Don't you remember my office party?

MIKE
I wanted us all to go as the Thundercats but the kids weren't allowed to go...so I just threw any old thing on in the end.

SARA
You went as the Pope.

MIKE
So?

SARA
Some of the guys found it a little offensive you came dressed as the leader of the Catholic Church, and the last time I checked the pope doesn't have a utility belt or a Pope symbol on the chest, or try to get out of conversations with my bosses by spraying the with Shark repellent Pope spray.

MIKE
You didn't like the job anyway.

Sara refers back to her magazine.

SARA
Well in this magazine it suggest that we do more things as a family to feel more comfortable communicating our feelings.

MIKE
Scrabble?

SARA
I've hidden the scrabble. You kept putting swear words in. It ended up you and the kids competing to see who could put down the dirtiest word.

MIKE
I checked that out as well. They cheated that triple word score was two words.

SARA
Why don't we get a family pet?

MIKE
Can't you just put a collar on one of those strays you insist on feeding?

SARA
We haven't had strays in since you bought the cat scarer from the shopping channel.

START DREAM SEQUENCE

ALF a furry creature from outer space, and star of 1980's TV show ALF, is sitting up in the bed in between MIke and Sara.

ALF
Hey No problem.

END DREAM SEQUENCE

Not sure why ALF pops up but I did like the 'I've hidden the scrabble.' line. Made me laugh.

Hi Gavin

Funny, but usually makes more sense in context of the whole thing. Not sure if you've set the plot up there, as it's very quickly-paced!

Dan

Hi Gavin

Well written and nice pace for the scene. Some good lines too, I liked the cat scarer and the scrabble.

Difficult to say more as I'm unsure about the context and taken in isolation it's a bit hard to comment further.

What about a bit more?

Thanks for all the kind comments I'm glad people find it funny I will post some more later so you can see how it sits in realtion with the rest of the script Thanks again everyone made my day