Changes two letters in bint and we might have a winner.

I think everyone in this thread is far too modest which I guess is an obvious sign of all the natural, raw talent. To write something extraordinary out of the ordinary can't be ignored and it’s clear to me that everyone here possess – ‘it’. Power to the bint factor.

Quote: ShoePie @ January 4, 2007, 3:05 PM

Goood but I think it needs to be trimmed down a bit.

CAT:
Miaaow!

The End

View original

Maybe too long with the message perhaps lost in superfluous dialogue. Try:

CAT:
Mia--

The End

Re: Sugden - The only way to make Sugden funny is defo the talking cat route. Let's face it. It'd be less surreal than her hair style and tint:

CAT:
I got my owner out and everyone wanted a stroke

Which is ironically true as when I see Sugden on TV I immediately hanker for a real stroke to put me out of my misery.

Plus [referring to the great sketch posted here recently referring to the process of writing the original cat sketch - https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/296/2#3544 - page 2] imagine the uproar in the writers' meeting if the sketch had a man staring at the cat in the passenger seat and the cat told the man to eff off. There would have been instant and week long priapism amongst commissioning execs.

Quote: SlagA @ January 5, 2007, 11:15 AM

Which is ironically true as when I see Sugden on TV I immediately hanker for a real stroke

View original

Please tell me this isn't a euphanism Slag? I know desperate times call for desperate measures, but come on...

Actually though, on a serious note, if you are in to your older purple haired women, I do enjoy cracking one off to Phyliss who used to be on Coronation Street.

CAT:-
For f**ks sake Ginger Jesus!

GJ:-
What?

What sort of evil have I unleashed on the world?

It's all turned horrible and I cannot associate myself with this shameful and tawdry thread any longer

Chokes back a silent sob.

CAT:-
Don't blame yourself Blenky. I feel partially responsible.

BLENKINSOP:
Ok, thank's pussy.

Wait a minute? PUSSY?!

That sounds exactly like C**T

CUE BLACKADDER MUSIC...

Why don't you have a post modern joke with the man literally f**king the cat.

MRS SLOCOMBE: Oh, it's been neary 12 years since my pussy has had a good hard rodding!

CAT: It's true you know.

MAN GRABS CAT AND F**KS IT.

SCENE ENDS

Cue animal rights complaints

What's needed here is a bit of respect for the cat animal.

Finally! The voice of reason.

We may yet steer this back into more savoury waters