Greetings everyone,
Id just like to say how nice it is to finally come across a forum that is without the usual sniping and general abuse (ive been "pwded" more times than i care to remember) Im a long time comedy nerd and along with my fellow long time comedy nerd flatmate, we've knocked around many writing ideas over the past while, often amouting to nothing. Here a couple of sketches we stuck together a while back. I dont think there particularly brilliant or anything (and its the first time i ever picked up a video camera) but i'd love some feedback nonetheless....Cheers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AX1pd-9dknI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AX1pd-9dknI

Quote: Shane @ January 11, 2008, 3:32 PM

Greetings everyone,
Id just like to say how nice it is to finally come across a forum that is without the usual sniping and general abuse

View original

Urmmmm... where did you hear that? Anyway welcome.

I have to say I exploded after watching that, but mostly in bemusement!

It didn't seem to make any sense, but you know, I liked it for that reason.

pwd... Portuguese Water Dog...? Clearly.

I was waiting for something to happen. I thought the guy was gonna go in and buy the dress or something..

p.s. both your links are the same.

Well, i just wanted to do something with a built up and an interesting reveal.... and i kinda liked the idea on playing it out beyond the punchline
(like manny when he chases the robber down the street!) but thanks for the comments anyway.. oh the second link should have been:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LD_T0_bWb6g

Well howdy there!

Hiya and welcome

Pop along to the introduction part of the forum and introduce yourself there!

Watched both vids...very surreal both of them. But interesting.

How do Shane

That second vid!! It went on for some time and there was no punchline!

Ain't nobody gonna give me those three minutes and forty-two seconds back.

Of course, a short doesn't necessarily need a pay-off at the end if the material is sufficiently/consistently funny.

But it would have worked more for me even if the final shot had been a zoom out from a sign on the building saying "Escher Flats" or something.

Quote: Shane @ January 11, 2008, 3:32 PM

Greetings everyone,
Id just like to say how nice it is to finally come across a forum that is without the usual sniping and general abuse (ive been "pwded" more times than i care to remember)

View original

Welcome - but I'm sure the sniping and general abuse will come in time.

Shane-o....nice concept with the 2nd video, but a bit too long without a big payoff at the end for me. Liked the idea first time he walked through the door and found himself back at the start. James' suggestion of 'Escher' reference is a very good one (but maybe your target audience wouldn't "get it").

First video...I've always wanted to do a sketch where nothing happens at all, but the fact that nothing happens is the funny part. This wasn't quite it for me, but then I've spent ages trying to think what is, and I haven't thought of the perfect scene.

Good camera work throughout though mate.

Hi Shane, and thanks for posting.

The first vid didn't seem so much a sketch as a bit of overheated drama to me. We knew he'd be looking at some sort of ladies wear the minute he stopped in the street. From there it was just a case of waiting for a punchline that never arrived. You mentioned the bit in Black Books with Manny running down the street, and though there's not a punchline as such to that gag, as far as I remember, there is at least a joke there - the idea of the pursuer becoming the pursued is a the same bit of comedy relief they used with Han Solo chasing the storm troopers. There was another element that added to the confusion too - the guy across the street who's back we dwelled on. Because of his prominence in the frame I was waiting for an interaction that never arrived.

The second had the same kind of problems. Way too too long this time. No punchline. As in the vid before it though - well acted and nice choice of music.

Keep 'em coming, Shane.

Welcome. I laughed at the lady dresses bit! I didn't see it coming. Good acting and filming. The second one might have been cool to have someone in the hallway and the guy keeps having to awkwardly say hello every time he walk past. Good stuff.

I'm moving this thread, but welcome!

Hey Shane *waves*