The police are knocking on the front door of a house.
The door is opened by a man with deep scratches all over his face and his clothing is torn.
Despite this the man does his best to act cool.

MAN
Hello lads how can I help you?

SGT
We're investigating a missing Cheetah and an Ostrich from the safari park.

MAN
Well thanks for the warning lads I'll make sure all my doors and windows are closed.

The man goes to close the door, the no nonsense sergeant puts his foot in the door and his tone is firm as he waves a sheet of paper.

SGT
As you can see, we've got a warrant .

The mans face drops as the police enter the house. In the living room the coffee table is covered in sheets of newspaper and there are several cans of spray paint on it.

The constables start the search as the sergeant stays with the man.

SGT
Now then Mr Cassidy word has it that you swept the board and the prize money at the White City Greyhound stadium yesterday.

MAN
Yeah, I had a bit of luck.

SGT
From what we heard you entered the same dog in all ten races, and it won every one of them ?

As the man is about to reply a constable walks in with a muzzled Cheetah on a lead. The Cheetah has been sprayed grey and has obvious toy ears attached with a headband and it has a collar with a name tag saying 'Fido'. The constable then shows that he has gray paint on his fingers

CON
The paints still wet sarge?

The MAN gives up the ghost.

MAN
I have to keep touching it up it keeps licking paint off.

SGT
So that's criminal damage as well as theft and the fraud.

Another constable comes in.

CON
Sarge you'd better take a look at this.

The Sergeant takes the man with him as they go out into the back yard and we see an ostrich that has been sprayed brown and red and it has a washing up glove on its head.

SGT
And I'll be adding Illegal cock fighting to the charges as well.

Good stuff, and the end made me laugh. Although as ever with your work, Teddy, a bit of strategic pruning would help make it even punchier.

As ever, original and funny.

That is so funny. I love it.

Looks like Teddy hit a coconut, thanks for the read of it folks.

Chip I agree it could do with pruning but as I always say if anyone ever shows an interest in me they would get the full package. These are mostly throw away's I don't even keep copies it just keeps my chin up, so I write with my heart and would write with my head if it helped pay my rent.
But again thanks all of you for popping down and reading it ,

Great punchline.

Really good fun little sketch (though good luck filming it! Perhaps it would work as an animation).

My only suggestion might be to go one step wilder at the end, and have a tiger or a gorilla with the robber glove on its head.

Thanks for the read folks and I'm glad you liked it.
Gappy as with all my stuff it will never see the light of day but I'd stick with the ostrich as its an easier leap to make given the punch line. But thanks for the advice.