I think that might be my favourite sketch ever.
London Transport Page 2
Quote: EllieJP @ October 10, 2007, 8:44 PMI would if i didn't have ANOTHER arm pit the other side... Don't you think i would have thought of that!?
Aaron you must agree with me about it!?
I find garlic to be far more objectionable, personally. When I am World King, smelling of garlic will be punishable by instant death.
But in answer, it's just something you have to live with. It's not like people force their armpits into your face purposely knowing that they stink and mwhahahaha etc. (Although I'm sure some do, but anyway.) Besides, I'm sure that for many people it's the heat and packed-ness of the Tube which makes the sweat and stink etc in the first place!
I'm sure that some dirty old men do find the most attractive woman in the carriage and stand so close he's rubbing up against her so that .... oh er - where was I?
I went to London, one day, with one of my dogs (I have an animal sanctuary). We got to central London on the tube and, as I looked up from the bottom of the 2 million stepped escalator (bet that's not how you spell it!)I noticed a sign saying 'ALL DOGS MUST BE CARRIED'.
My dog is a St. Bernard.
Bless 'em, they stopped the mobile mountain and turned in into the biggest staircase in the world. Both dog (gurt) and I needed oxygen at the top!
Ha ha, oh dear. Which station was that?
(And yes, spelt correctly. 
)
We were travelling from Paddock Wood, Kent, to Oxford St. So it was somewhere between Charing x and Oxford St. There were many staircases in between. They were rather nice to us and let us use all sorts of back stairs, lifts, etc.
There was another funny one. My Gurt (St. Bernard) sometimes suffers with incontinence when she's asleep and wees herself (it's something to do with their big weight and size pressing on the bladder). Bless her, if she realises then she seems really embarrassed and this day she did it on a packed train, it pooled around her tail and soaked it. Then she woke up, stood up and wagged that huge, shaggy tail and splattered everyone in the carriage in urine. It was a horror story come true.
Being British, not one single person reacted - Thank God!!!!
Quote: marion @ October 16, 2007, 4:49 AMI went to London, one day, with one of my dogs (I have an animal sanctuary). We got to central London on the tube and, as I looked up from the bottom of the 2 million stepped escalator (bet that's not how you spell it!)I noticed a sign saying 'ALL DOGS MUST BE CARRIED'.
My dog is a St. Bernard.
Bless 'em, they stopped the mobile mountain and turned in into the biggest staircase in the world. Both dog (gurt) and I needed oxygen at the top!
Reminds me a bit of part of a sketch I wrote a while ago.
Literally Linda sees a sign saying "dogs must be carried on the escalator". She spends 20 minutes looking for one.
Quote: marion @ October 16, 2007, 9:42 PMWe were travelling from Paddock Wood, Kent, to Oxford St. So it was somewhere between Charing x and Oxford St.
Hmmm, what part of Oxford Street? Oxford Circus station?
Quote: marion @ October 16, 2007, 9:42 PMThey ... let us use all sorts of back stairs, lifts, etc.
See this? This is jealousy.
Quote: marion @ October 16, 2007, 9:42 PMThere was another funny one. My Gurt (St. Bernard) sometimes suffers with incontinence when she's asleep and wees herself (it's something to do with their big weight and size pressing on the bladder). Bless her, if she realises then she seems really embarrassed and this day she did it on a packed train, it pooled around her tail and soaked it. Then she woke up, stood up and wagged that huge, shaggy tail and splattered everyone in the carriage in urine. It was a horror story come true.
Being British, not one single person reacted - Thank God!!!!
Quote: David Chapman @ October 16, 2007, 9:54 PMLiterally Linda sees a sign saying "dogs must be carried on the escalator". She spends 20 minutes looking for one.
Aside from that being a painfully old and obvious joke (
), I read "Literally Linda" as "Linda Lusardi". How odd.
That bus route into Hammersmith is notoriously grim (if you are talking about the route the 295 goes) and the only way is to leave extra early for work.
The problem is that there are too many 9 to 5 plebs in London. Companies need to enforce flexi time and plebs need to be forced to work different hours. That'll learn 'em to complain!!
Try changing your hours to a 4:00 am start and finish at 1:00pm for instance. Of course the night buses are pretty grim too but it's more exciting and gets your adrenaline going when you face yobs and knives and such like, and the bus home at 1:00pm shouldn't be too bad.
Safe journey!
I work a kind of 10:15 - 18:15 pattern. With the odd bit at home and weekends. Don't get paid nearly enough, but heyho.
Quote: Aaron @ October 16, 2007, 10:51 PMAside from that being a painfully old and obvious joke (
I know - but it was part of a series of running gags.
Quote: Aaron @ October 16, 2007, 11:05 PMI work a kind of 10:15 - 18:15 pattern. With the odd bit at home and weekends. Don't get paid nearly enough, but heyho.
My working pattern is so odd that it doesn't actually repeat.. a lot of work and disastrously low on pay for a London life.. work, eat, sleep ad infinitum..
Try travelling in a London cab with a wheelchair! It is amazing how many drivers have 'forgotten their ramps, have bad backs' or 'are driving someone else's cab today and don't know how their ramps work.' The worst was when my companion flagged a cab down, then the driver rushed off when he saw me. It's always nice to have a big dose of rejection and humiliation when travelling in the city. 
Aww