I am 18 and this is going to be a disaster I know it.

Scene 1
Dad House

Dan:Who is that at my knock a run door?

Dan:Hello I don't live here this is Kieth Lemon House. So go away and never watch my show again.

Man:I am here for a charity collection.

Dan:I am Not Scrooge. You Know it says please get out.

Man: The charity is called idiots4life.

Dan: Ill get the grasses if u Don't go now.

Man: Goodbye My Highness.

Dan: Why is he perving through my window?

Scene 2
Bar
Dan:A Pint of washing up liquid please.

Sean: Hi Mate How is your mams Xbox?

Dan: It's Ok thank you very much

Sean: Why Have you asked for liquid to drink it is not a laundrette you know.

Dan: It makes me feel I am from the planet fishes.

Bartender: Here is your fishes drink. 4.50 please.

Dan: What The Heck? What is this a football Match Or A posh restaurant?

End Thanks for reading

Please Provide Feedback

I imagine if 'Kall' had a less-psychotic vegetarian twin brother, this is pretty much what he'd have written.

Are the lines in the correct order? Or is the reader meant to re-arrange them into an order that makes a modicum of sense?

Baffling, yet lacking Kall's anarchic train-wreck charm.

Yep they are Simon Lol

I thought it was pretty obvious this was Kall?

Scene 3 Dans home

Dan:Boudicca Im Home

Jane:My Name is Jane you silly Mare

Dan:Well you bosser than the queen.

Jane: You been on the old hogie

Dan: Well I have been on the washing up Liquid.

Jane: Are you insane you are like Lionel Blair Not Prince William.

Dan: So it was nice I felt like being my mum.

Jane: Why? I Want to send you to My dad for a beating

Dan:Go and see King Henry at the door.

Jane:Yes

Sam:Its me knock a door run

Jane; Do it to my mum she lives next to you

Samh Man Are you my mum?

I Have Done this bit

Please provide feedback thank you

Who Is Kall?

I Live In Manchester Now Not Blackpool

Your script shows signs of promise but needs more creative use of punctuation.

Next Part
Mums House

Mum:Is That My 2 eyed son?

Dan:Yes Mother Teresa

Mumit Down Love.

Dan:Can I Go on the cheap xbox from taxiworld

Mum:No You Cannot wait till gary out of men behaving badly come here.

Dan: Sorry Mother Dan

Mum: Be quiet.

Dan: Well it is better than staying with the PM In it Ey.

Mum: Well I need to go and say grandma dog in a minute.

Dan: How many people are from Scotland.

Mum: Are you in the right country love?

End Of Scene

Next part. Pub

Dan:I Feel like like I in a temple.

Bartender:Hi What do you want?

Dan: Tia Maria and coke please:

Craig:Hey Hows your Darling?

Dan: She still like Florence Nightingale yeah.

Craigomeone Said I was Samuel Peeps.

Bartender:Here 3.10 please.Ta. You remind me of Guru Nanak weak and loves a bit bubble bath to drink.

Dan:Haha Very nice I had egg on my pizza today.

Craig: Dan:That is your dad behind you who looks like the Incredible Hulk.

Dad:Hello you two cheek monkeys. Oi John A bitter for loverboy.

Craig: What the hell are you talking about. Am I Talking to a teddy who I just kissed. Bye Bye the Incredible Hulk.

Please Provide Feedback Thanks

Quote: Wwe222 333 @ January 1 2013, 6:23 PM GMT

Please Provide Feedback Thanks

View original

I do believe you're taking the piss. But that's okay. You waste your time because it's your life ticking away as you do this, not mine. I watch the clock whilst masturbating, we all have our interests in life and I for one wish you best of luck with this creation and all future ones that you create too.

We could be out having sex with beautiful people, writing poetry or making a positive difference to other less fortunate but instead, here we are, masturbating figuratively of course. But still, just wanking our days away with this bullshit.

Are You Being Nasty to me?

Not at all.

Can you put in nicer words next time I mean not nice as mean very good.

I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.

Quote: Wwe222 333 @ January 1 2013, 10:01 AM GMT

I Live In Manchester Now Not Blackpool

View original

What's that got to do with anything?

I don't know ZOOO