Here is the original text of my BBC apology Egypt sketch as well as the edited bits. Bits not in the original are in red and bit removed from the original are crossed out. I thought I'd post it up to show what the editing is like for those interested.

MILES: This week the world has been turning it's eyes towards Egypt as the chaos goes on. We have with us in the... continued to watch Egypt with interest as there was further chaos in the streets.

F/X:TELEPHONE RINGS.

MILES (CONT'D): Sorry, excuse me.

F/X:MILES ANSWERS.

MILES (CONT'D):Hello.

EXECUTIVE: Is that Newsjack? Miles, BBC legal team here. You haven't started doing the Egypt sketch yet, have you?

MILES: Yes it is.

EXECUTIVE: And what are you currently doing?

MILES: We're just started the Egypt sketch. Err... just about to.

EXECUTIVE: Oh Yeah thank God, I've called just in time. I'm afraid Look you can't do that item it.

MILES: Why not?

EXECUTIVE: In case we offend Egypt.

MILES: Offend Egypt? I'll be honest; I think they've got bigger fish to fry at the moment.

EXECUTIVE: You can't do it Miles Well, what with QI offending Japan and Top Gear offending Mexico, new BBC policy is that we thought it was is better to be save and sorry.

MILES: Are you afraid we'll be racist? This isn't racist, But we're not making racist jokes about Egypt, we're just doing this is just a topical routine about the ongoing political crisis in the region.

EXECUTIVE: (SIGHS) Were you going to do a funny voice?

MILES: No. Well, maybe.

EXECUTIVE: Well, either way I'm sorry, but we can't take the risk, unless you can level it out even it up by finding covering a similar political crisis in Britain going on here.

MILES: Well, I don't think we can bring down the coalition that quickly, not on a Radio 7 budget anyway. I'll move on. In that case can we do the next item?

EXECUTIVE: Which is? What's you next item?

MILES: The Pakistani cricketers.

EXECUTIVE: No, same problem.

MILES: What about Hilary Devey, the new member of Dragons' Den.

EXECUTIVE: Sorry, that could be sexist. How old is she?

MILES:Err... fifty-three.

EXECUTIVE: Ah, And ageist. We don't want another Countryfile on our hands.

MILES:What about the death of Gary Moore?

EXECUTIVE: No, we definitely don't to insult the dead, just in case there is a zombie invasion. Can't insult the dead, sorry. Do you know how long it takes to receive a letter of complaint through an upturned glass moving around a table? Ages.

MILES:What about the English Defence League?

EXECUTIVE: That's also racist.

MILES: But we're attacking racists.

EXECUTIVE: Yes, but only English racists. There's a danger of alienating racists from the rest of the UK. Err... ooh... tricky. Can you also do one about the Welsh Defence League, the Scottish Defence League?

MILES: We've only got half and hour. Well Look, can we do a sketch attacking interfering BBC executives who just want to appease everyone whatever the costs?

EXECUTIVE: Err... yes I think that's alright.

MILES: In that case, thanks for providing us with this sketch.

EXECUTIVE: A My pleasure. Goodbye.

F/X:TELEPHONE PUT DOWN.

END

Interesting, Ian.

My sketch yesterday was what I wrote but Gary Lineker was replaced with Aled Jones, and the last couple of lines were changed according. Those changes were for the better I thought.

My 'Adam Crozier's Tour of Destruction' sketch for series 2 was used word-for-word as I wrote, which I'm very proud of.

Conversely, a sketch at the end of series 2 that Jane P and I wrote basically would have had all the words crossed out except for 'penis' and 'laughing at'. She was at the recording and didn't recognise it. That was the editing we got for that sketch!

Dan

I thought that some of the sketches worked, like the line about the funny voice and the upturned glass. On the whole, I think they did improve it.

Good stuff, Ian. Simple premise (which are always the best), well executed.

I liked the sketch very much Ian and found the edit v original ratio quite interesting.

Shows that if the idea is good they will work with it and they aren't necessarily looking for the complete piece ready-wrapped and good to go.

Most of the edits seem to have been to move the action on quicker and it just shows that brevity is of paramount importance here to them. I thought that the unedited read perfectly well and was just as funny really. The real difference between the two being the one broadcast felt a lot leaner. I guess when they're trying to get so much material crammed into the show then if they can trim here and there it frees up more time for perhaps another one or two quickies.

This is a good lesson for everyone and it has certainly been really beneficial and made me think about what I send from now on. Had I been writing the sketch mine would have been at least as long as your version, maybe even longer.

It was a really good idea and well done for getting it on.

EDIT:

Looking back again it isn't necessarily the overall length (word count) they've changed, though I think as broadcast it is a bit shorter, it's perhaps more the pace they've altered by changing certain words and phrases.

I haven't listened to the show, but I liked this sketch, Ian. Clever and simple idea.

Good sketch, Ian. Congrats for your success.

Great sketch, and congrats. Interesting to see how many little changes they made.

Thanks for all the comments. One interesting thing Mark mentioned to me is that he could understand removing the bit about calling the EDL racist in order to avoid complaints.

If that is the reason that would mean the BBC were trying not to offend people by editing a sketch about the BBC being paranoid about offending people, and the people I was supposedly offending are exactly the kind of people I should be offending.

Why don't you write a sketch explaining that? Unless it offends them.

Dan

Quote: swerytd @ February 12 2011, 10:11 PM GMT

Why don't you write a sketch explaining that? Unless it offends them.

View original

I think there was one similar to that about not being allowed to call Nick Griffin racist in the first series. I think it might have actually have been the first episode.

Ian, very helpful this old chap. I think you are the first (apologies if not) successful Newsjacker to post the original along with the broadcast sketch.

I liked the sketch as well

Thanks Will.

I sent in a similar sketch to this one this week as well to see if they will pick it up again.

Brilliant sketch Ian, I tried to post a 1 liner, could'nt get past the evil button, tired now, lost the will... Oh well..
....... >_<

Thanks a lot for doing this Ian; really interesting.

Good luck for this week,
Martyn