I know we always use this critique board to analyse scripts but I went the next step and am posting something I wrote and filmed. After all, someone needed to bring you comedy veterens into the 21st century So please let me know what you think, leave a message on the youtube board and give it a rating. Mucho Appreciative-o

Part 1 of 4. http://youtube.com/watch?v=t9XsVVSy0j8

Ha I liked it a lot, that's my sort of character found it funny throughout. I also think it's good because there are a number of different ways you can use him I'm sure.

Perhaps needs some tightening up at times but it didn't detract too much

What are you thinking of doing with this character? I think you've got a good hting going and I think if you sent it around there would be interest.

Ric Flair, The Rock, amateurs compared to BigMac.

You've got some good one liners in there, no autographs please, and when the camera man looks at the park, you can be just heard saying, "Don't forget this is my show!"

Keep it up, you've got a good character there.

I love Groin Kick too...and especially the multiple groin kick thing.

Ha and the roundabout sequence (watching as I type here)

"Wheel it....Wheel it....Wheel it" Ha

Ha thanks for the great response guys! I've had this character for a while now; found it funny that after all these years of professional wrestling, no ones thought of satiring it. I was going to have him as a host of his own talk show (y'know, like Borat-esque, where he goes around talking to people from different backgrounds), and would try his hand at a range of skills - not just clairvoyancy. If you could all leave a rating and comment as I wana get this featured. Highly doubtful on the giant that is youtube but hey, tis worth a shot!!

The talk show host who only wants to talk about himself. Jonathan Ross already did it

Film as much as you can, edit it together really nicely and send it out to as many people as you can. Because that in some parts did loose my attention a bit, but only a little bit.

I can easily imagine this on TV, something like T4 or MTV, especially with Hogan Knows Best on.

Oh now that Big Mac, he IS hot!

He`s a genius character & some of the one liners really stay in your head.

"Slam dunk your funk!" is going to roll around in my head all day!

Loved it

Seriously Callemcio if this were reshot and edited nicely to bring it all in a bit tighter I think you could send it round production companies and get a good response. If you are interested in making it a bit slicker but need a hand with editing mail me: tom_pk@hotmail.com, I can edit to an extent.

Anyone else on the forum got any opinions? Any at all would be greatly received..

I thought it was great. Lots of different types of people would watch a character like him.

I think there should be more interaction with the unsuspecting public though. Start conversations about anything with as many people as you can and then edit out the boring bits and just keep the incidents that are funny (You never know what will happen). I'm not saying it should be a show about talking to the public, but it will be funny - like a cross between a hidden camera show, a reality show, and a sitcom.

That's a good idea

I watched it this morning and I remember liking the performance but thinking it was a bit too long. Was it improved? or roughly scripted etc.?

Very brave getting on a bus and slam dunking da funk like that!

Yo ShoePie, yeah the whole thing was improvised apart from the basic plot. Tis part of my genius Y'all don't forget to rate it!!

Lol. Try writing some stuff, it's good at the minute, but I think you can make it even better. But most importantly, find a decent editor.

Hi Callemcio,

it's not really my cup of tea... but there are some nice touches here and there: 'escapades' (escapards!) was very funny. As was the 'potato' (potarto!) especially your look to the camera at that point.

I agree with Tom about editing and generally tightening it up. It was too long for me... I’m assuming that you're aiming for something that is supposed to be more ad-lib than rehearsed but usually, what appears to be spontaneous, is finely timed etc. and your performance skills probably aren't quite up to scratch just yet, with something of that length. Saying that, I'm sure the more you do, the better you'll get since there are some really nice bits that are naturally funny. You have something, definitely... just needs some polish.

Perhaps make his character a little more extreme… where’s his title belt, for example? He’d want to be showing that off wouldn’t he?

Some of the fast-spoken stuff was difficult to follow, although this could have been the background noise from the bus… and my advanced years… ;-)

I like Greggles’s idea of interaction with unsuspecting members of the public… I can see The ‘Mac reacting really well in those situations.

The bit in the playground right at the very end, with BigMac bouncing around on the kids’ equipment was very good. I laughed out loud at that.

As I say, not really my thing… but you certainly have something. With more, smaller & varied, sequences, I’m sure there are some production companies out there who would be interested.

Let us know how you get on!