INT. SHAVEY-BABY - DAY
The bell above the door jingles as another customer, holding a baby, enters the Shavey-Baby Hair Salon.
She is greeted by a Beauty Therapist.
RENEE
Hi, welcome to Shavey-Baby, my name is Renee. How may I shave your baby today?
MARY
Oh, no need to shave. Just a few snips of the top. Tame that wild hair.
RENEE
I see...
Renee reaches under the counter and pulls out huge, scary looking electric hair clippers.
MARY
Woah, just a few wisps off the top, I said.
Renee looks blank.
MARY
Scissors? Snip, snip?
RENEE
Ah!
Reaches under the counter again and pulls out a Freddie Kruger glove.
MARY
Jesus! You'll have his ears off with that!
RENEE
It's OK. I'm a professional. A whole 2 weeks at Beauty School.
MARY
You have a qualification?
RENEE
No, I was a hair model. But I picked most of it up.
MARY
Was most of it covered in blood?
RENEE
I was even in the paper once...
She points Mary's attention towards a framed article clipping on the wall, which reads,
"BABY BUTCHER RELEASED"
MARY
Oh my God. I think I'll leave.
RENEE
Please stay. Honestly, I'm really good.
MARY
I don't think so, sorry.
RENEE
But, but your baby is looking particularly hairy today. Don't you think so?
MARY
I beg your pardon?
RENEE
You can't deny it. You did bring him to a hair salon.
MARY
Well, it's more of a practical thing, if anything.
RENEE
Baby-needs-as-shavey!
MARY
Arghhh!!
She runs towards the door. But it's now locked and she can't get out.
Renee starts a chainsaw up.
MARY
Help!!!!
Renee gets closer to Mary and swings the chainsaw at her.
CUT TO: BLACK.
INT. MARY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Mary bolts up in her bed and screams in fear.
Her husband, laying next to her wakes up.
HUSBAND
What's up, what's up?
MARY
Oh, oh... nothing. I just had a nightmare.
HUSBAND
Are you alright?
MARY
Yes, yes I'll be fine. Go back to sleep.
Mary climbs out of bed and walks over to the baby's cot, where he sleeps.
She looks into it and screams.
The baby sleeps there, clippings of hair around his head.
Mary takes a closer look.
MARY
Oh, yeah. That's how I wanted it. Thanks Renee.
RENEE
No problem.
MARY
Arghhh!! Were did you come from?
RENEE
Shavey-Baby Hair Salon.
MARY
No, just now?
RENEE
I don't know?
CUT TO: BLACK.
INT. RENEE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Renee bolts up in her bed and screams!
Her husband wakes up.
HUSBAND
Are you ok?
RENEE
No... I just had a nightmare... I didn't shavey-baby!
HUSBAND
Relax, it's just a dream.
Their kids run into the bedroom, they all have shaven heads.
KIDS [in unison]
Mummy, mummy we heard you screaming.
RENEE
It's OK. Mummy was just being silly. Go back to bed.
END
---------------------
INT. LEEVIL'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Leevil bolts up in bed.
He wakes his husband girlfriend.
GIRLFRIEND
Are you, OK?
LEEVIL
I just dreamed I wrote a pointless sketch...
GIRLFRIEND
What's new?
LEEVIL
Bitch!
Love the ending. Sorry that simultaneously feels like a compliment and an insult!
