I wouldn't want a 60 year old maid! I have a strict dress code.

Julia, put some clothes on!

Alright!
How do you insert pictures into a message?
I had a bloody good gag linesd up but I was let down by my technical bufoonery.
Any clues?

It was a Susan Boyle gag, but the moments gone now.

Quote: Lazzard @ June 8 2009, 12:17 AM BST

Alright!
How do you insert pictures into a message?
I had a bloody good gag linesd up but I was let down by my technical bufoonery.
Any clues?

It was a Susan Boyle gag, but the moments gone now.

View original

See the Help thingy in the top-left options. I only discovered this last week when I finally couldn't survive without some italics. Should give you all the info you need.

Quote: Tim Walker @ June 8 2009, 12:21 AM BST

See the Help thingy in the top-left options. I only discovered this last week when I finally couldn't survive without some italics. Should give you all the info you need.

View original

Coo!
It's like proper geeky, int it?
I shall have to see if I can master a few of them.
Not tonight though.
I feel a kip might be in order.
Goodnight.

PS I'll tell you how I get on with old Tiramisu.

I got one too.

I've got her booked in for Thursday at 11.30.

Quote: Tim Walker @ June 7 2009, 10:50 PM BST

Oh, so she might be real. In which case, I warn you all now, I refuse to share her.

Though I'm a little concerned about her profile. Lists her weight as between 80 and 300lb and her height between 4'2" and 7'0". What is she, a shape-shifter?

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Well get ready for a battle as I will fight for her every step of the way.

She just sent her picture.

You know, I don't think she's West African at all.

Quote: Lazzard @ June 8 2009, 1:57 PM BST

She just sent her picture.

You know, I don't think she's West African at all.

View original

Those look like traditional African pearls round her neck to me. Her story checks out.

Quote: Flaner @ June 8 2009, 2:25 PM BST

Those look like traditional African pearls round her neck to me. Her story checks out.

View original

Oy!
Don't ever mention pearl necklaces and Susan Boyle in the same breath again.
I'm having my tea.

Quote: Lazzard @ June 8 2009, 4:37 PM BST

Oy!
Don't ever mention pearl necklaces and Susan Boyle in the same breath again.
I'm having my tea.

View original

I hope that is not the video that got 200m hits on YouTube.

I gave her that pearl necklace. Read my story, exclusively in the Sun!

Quote: Balf @ June 8 2009, 8:01 PM BST

I gave her that pearl necklace. Read my story, exclusively in the Sun!

View original

Max Clifford told me to hold out for The Mirror.