Husband & Wife in Bed.

WIFE
You liked my brother’s new girlfriend eh!

HUBS
She seemed alright yes.

WIFE
You especially liked her breasts didn’t you. You were gogling at them. In fact when you spoke to them this evening I am sure the whole family noticed.

Hubs
Excuse me I was not gogling or speaking to those breasts. They were actually pointing at ME the whole time. I tried REARLY HARD to get away from them.

WIFE
I was going to get you a bib, the dribble was hanging from your bottom lip almost to the floor. My Mother asked if I wanted her to go fetch you some kitchen roll. I said Mum don’t bother, its the cheapo shite that leery ol’ bastard got when it was his turn to shop. That stringy crap wont soak up a hamster’s pee, you need a sheet of MDF to soak up that spittle

HUBS
I am not leery, I did not dribble.

WIFE
If you could build the perfect woman what would she look like.

HUBS
Is this gonna lead to another row where I am the villain.

WIFE
Tell me, hair colour, eyes, body shape, come on, lets play a game.
.

HUBS
*Huge sigh* Brunette, medium length, greeny eyes, small to medium boobs and about a size 10.

WIFE
You just described me. It's not fair you are not playing properly. Come on.We always have to do everything you want to do.

HUBS
Okay, long blonde hair, don’t care on eye colour, size 12 with big bouncy boobies.

WIFE
You just described my brother’s new girlfriend. So she is your ideal woman is she.

HUBS
I wasn't describing her.

WIFE
Liar liar, pants on. You so were describing her. I knew it. You fancy her and her huge bazookas, that’s why you were leering at her all night. I can’t believe you. You were practically suckling on them. That's my BROTHERS girlfriend. I suppose you fancy all my mates too don’t you. Oh my god, you do. Well I am going to call my brother first thing in the morning and tell him all about how you want to do his girlfriend every which way but loose, how you want to run your dirty hands all over her milk ducts. He is gonna smash your skull in. Hahahahahahaha. You filthy old man. You dirty pervert.

HUBS
Right so her chest keeps making a bee line for my eye sockets and its all my fault.

WIFE
Pervert! That’s why you play with your chicken fillets on a Sunday, you are obsessed with breasts. “I will do the chicken” you always say. Well not no more sicko. From now on, I handle the bird’s.

HUBS
Hmmmm! That will spice up our marriage perfectly. I have been asking for that every birthday.

Charley you seem to have these characters down really well they interact well, are they intended for sketches? or for a larger sitcom? Dont get me wrong I like it but maybe we can see them out and about in real life shops,bank,pub etc just to jazz it up a bit. Just a thought

And a good thought at that. Maybe i will give them a try out and about.

i like these sketches, and i like the whole, in bed at the end of a night, as this is where couples are meant to be relexed and happy, i would also like to see one or two sketches where they are out and about, just to see how it works.
well done.

Charley... STOP. You're exposing yourself TOO much.

I love this stuff and there must be an outlet. By the way - who is this Brunette, medium length, greeny eyes, small to medium boobs and about a size 10.

The Brunette could be me. xxx

I liked this sketch, charley I suggest you sit down with some of these characters and try and write a sitcom, Gavin was right they do interact well and a sitcom format would put them into more comical situations.

I agree and feel that maybe you should get them organised and formulated. (and copyrighted?)