Hi

I thought it was excellent - the point you made about repitition of sketches is spot on - The Fast Show thrived on it, and was able in the last series to do away with some of the expected repititions/punchlines in place of alternatives, which just goes to show how established the format was.

The poem at the end reminded me of a slightly cruder sort of thing Tony Hancock did a few times in his radio shows (I dunno if that was a conscious thing), which personally is the highest compliment I could give.

The only critisism I'd say, is the danger that the whole 'rude-boy'/chav thing feels slightly dated - it's been done a lot before (Ali G, Catherine Tate show), and you might wanna look at an alternative character - that's not really a big problem in my view, as the tightness of the writing and the silliness at the end could quite easily work with, off the top of my head, a pretentious urban poet...

That all said though, I have taken rather a lot of heroin tonight so I might be wrong. Just got to go to the....nope, on the floor again

Like Tom, I worry the 'rude boy' character has had his time in the sun. I like the pretentious poet suggestion better. It's a satire after all, and satire works best when your target is sitting somewhere lofty.

Quote: Lee Henman @ February 9 2009, 2:36 PM GMT

for me in many sketches it's precisely that predictability that makes the sketch funny. For instance with Andy And Lou we know very well that he's going to get out of his wheelchair at the end of the sketch. That's what we're waiting for.

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Really? For me that really ruins a lot of comedy. Once is great, twice is okay but after that and what's the point?

Quote: Dolly Dagger @ February 10 2009, 12:13 PM GMT

Really? For me that really ruins a lot of comedy. Once is great, twice is okay but after that and what's the point?

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Fine, if it's not your bag. But by ruling out repeated jokes you're wiping out the majority of successful modern character sketch shows. The Fast Show, Little Britain, Harry Enfield, Catherine Tate, Armstrong & Miller, Mitchell & Webb...all have regular returning characters who do the same gag.

Quote: David Bussell @ February 10 2009, 10:09 AM GMT

Like Tom, I worry the 'rude boy' character has had his time in the sun. I like the pretentious poet suggestion better. It's a satire after all, and satire works best when your target is sitting somewhere lofty.

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I do really like the pretentious poet idea and I'll change it to that - ifthe show I'm submitting the sketch to says they don't want to use it. A pretentious, lofty poet just wouldn't work on that particular show - but I wonder is someone like Armstrong & Miller might have room for it? We'll see...

Cheers Buss

Quote: Lee Henman @ February 10 2009, 1:16 PM GMT

Fine, if it's not your bag. But by ruling out repeated jokes you're wiping out the majority of successful modern character sketch shows. The Fast Show, Little Britain, Harry Enfield, Catherine Tate, Armstrong & Miller, Mitchell & Webb...all have regular returning characters who do the same gag.

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I think some of them do it better than the Lou and Andy thing though. Even they do, with the Fat Fighters set up; essentially the same gag, but generally delivered in a more varied or satisfying manner.

Quote: Lee Henman @ February 10 2009, 1:20 PM GMT

I do really like the pretentious poet idea and I'll change it to that - ifthe show I'm submitting the sketch to says they don't want to use it.
Cheers Buss

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Scallywagga . .?

Quote: Matthew Stott @ February 10 2009, 1:21 PM GMT

I think some of them do it better than the Lou and Andy thing though. Even they do, with the Fat Fighters set up; essentially the same gag, but generally delivered in a more varied or satisfying manner.

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More varied or satisfying than what?

Quote: Matthew Stott @ February 10 2009, 1:21 PM GMT

Scallywagga . .?

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I couldn't possibly comment...

Quote: Lee Henman @ February 10 2009, 1:23 PM GMT

More varied or satisfying than what?

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The last sketch, surely?

Quote: Leevil @ February 10 2009, 1:24 PM GMT

The last sketch, surely?

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But it's only one sketch, how can it be judged on variety?

Quote: Lee Henman @ February 10 2009, 1:23 PM GMT

More varied or satisfying than what?

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There's a bit more to Fat Fighters, to me, then Andy just standing up and doing something behind Lous back for, now, four series and some specials. It was funny at first, but quickly wore thin because of the, well, thinness. Whereas Fat Fighters I still find funny. Lou and Andy did start out as my favourite of theirs though.

I liked the sketch by the way Lee.

Quote: Matthew Stott @ February 10 2009, 1:26 PM GMT

There's a bit more to it, to me, then Andy just standing up and doing something behind Lous back for, now, four series and some specials. It was funny at first, but quickly wore thin because of the, well, thinness. Whereas Fat Fighters I still find funny. Lou and Andy did start out as my favourite of theirs though.

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I dunno - I'd've thought if there was ever a thin, repeated joke it was the Fat Fighters one. That's not to say I still don't find it funny though. But for me it's one of their more one-dimensional characters.

I do really like the pretentious poet idea and I'll change it to that - ifthe show I'm submitting the sketch to says they don't want to use it. A pretentious, lofty poet just wouldn't work on that particular show - but I wonder is someone like Armstrong & Miller might have room for it? We'll see...
Cheers Buss[/quote]

The pretentious poet was my idea wasn't it?!

Quote: T o m @ February 10 2009, 1:29 PM GMT

I do really like the pretentious poet idea and I'll change it to that - ifthe show I'm submitting the sketch to says they don't want to use it. A pretentious, lofty poet just wouldn't work on that particular show - but I wonder is someone like Armstrong & Miller might have room for it? We'll see...
Cheers Buss

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The pretentious poet was my idea wasn't it?! [/quote]
Oh yeah! Sorry

The line that made me laugh the most was:

BARRY TURNER:
Nah man, it's too much for someone like you. It'd melt your brain.

.
OBITUARY

T-Boy died on Tuesday 10 Feb 2009. his manager, Pimp Ryder-Henman said it was 'a result of over-exposure'. T-Boy was hospitalized after collapsing at a Job Centre. He was briefly placed on an income support machine which was eventually turned off by a foul odour coming from a pretentious poet.

T-Boy is survived by Lee Henman and two roaches.
.

Quote: Morrace @ February 10 2009, 3:01 PM GMT

.
OBITUARY

T-Boy died on Tuesday 10 Feb 2009. his manager, Pimp Ryder-Henman said it was 'a result of over-exposure'. T-Boy was hospitalized after collapsing at a Job Centre. He was briefly placed on an income support machine which was eventually turned off by a foul odour coming from a pretentious poet.

Born Barry Turner on June 12, 1991, T-Boy began his career in economically depressed Critique, Muthashire, where he was reared by his foster-grandmother, Sharon, a stand-up prostitute.

His first album was 'Doin' Coke, Drinkin' Beers, Shootin' Queers' - which he stole from Our Price. He subsequentley had his bling electronically tagged.

T-Boy's lyrical dexterity and songwriting gifts, alas, were not appreciated at any Career Advice or Job Centres. In a statement to The Big Issue representative outside his local Tesco he said, "Who you f**kin' lookin' at, you cock-suckin, mutha-f**kin' botty bwa?!"

T-Boy is survived by Lee Henman and two roaches.
.

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Heh. Bravo