First gig 23rd. Brickin' it Page 3

Quote: David Bussell @ January 22 2012, 5:48 PM GMT

I don't think it's a "harmful" joke at, I'm just saying, like it or not, that it's a paedo joke. Without the audience knowing what grooming is there is no joke. No paedos = no gag. You can act like it's a joke about dogs as much as you like but that's not the part the audience are going to respond to.

My suggestion that this might not be the best gag to open with (or tell at all) is based on having seen way too many fledgling comics play the "edgy" card and fall flat on their face. It sounds like you've seen enough of it too. Why would a new comic looking to make a name for themselves want to swim in the same waters as so many others? I say reach for the second joke that comes into your head and see where that takes you.

Fine, but are you saying the same to Tony?

By the way, I like Tony's gag. But it relies much more on a direct link to child sex than anything in the original post.

Yeh never ask for backsies on his bike!

Quote: Tony Cowards @ January 22 2012, 5:13 PM GMT

I do a joke about a man who was arrested for having sex with a bike (a true story) and I make a joke about it being good that it wasn't a children's bike as that would make him a pedalophile.

Now in no way is this joke about child abuse except in the very loosest sense and yet you would be amazed at how many audiences still wince or give an audible "Ooooo" when I do the punchline.

I used to do the same sort of joke but reversed. I'd read off a list of words I'd invented (kind of like Sniglets), one of which would be "pedalphile". I'd then explain that this is a man who really likes his bicycle. The fun for me in that one was that the punchline was the relief of it not being a kiddy fiddler gag in the true 'Frankie Boyle' sense. Still a paedophile joke though, make no bones about it.

I invented a cycling detective.

But when I try and tell people about the pedal files, I get boohed.

"Have my first gig on Monday 23rd"

Quote: sootyj @ January 22 2012, 5:52 PM GMT

Again the jokes ok, it's just too early in the act.

I used to have an IRA bicycle, it was terrible. It was an endless cycle of violence.

You need to say "bike", otherwise you repeat "cycle" and spoil the gag.

Anyway, good luck for tomorrow to Leigh!

Quote: leigh Stirrup @ January 21 2012, 8:43 PM GMT

Have my first gig on Monday 23rd

Thats tomorrow guys, hes a new performer doin his first gig tomorrow, don't you think you're being a little bit harsh, deconstructing his act? I agree that it shouldnt be the opener but its a good enough joke to included and in no way an attempt at being 'edgy' I would laugh if I heard that joke hut I agree it needs easing into it. As for the rap, you can't judge something you've never seen now can you?

Quote: mathew aspey @ January 22 2012, 6:31 PM GMT

Thats tomorrow guys, hes a new performer doin his first gig tomorrow, don't you think you're being a little bit harsh, deconstructing his act? I agree that it shouldnt be the opener but its a good enough joke to included and in no way an attempt at being 'edgy' I would laugh if I heard that joke hut I agree it needs easing into it. As for the rap, you can't judge something you've never seen now can you?

You just made the blind film critic cry.

People ask for advice

Andthat's what they get.

It's an edgy joke which is a gamble especially as a first joke.

Oh and good luck!

Quote: Badge @ January 22 2012, 6:29 PM GMT

You need to say "bike", otherwise you repeat "cycle" and spoil the gag.

Anyway, good luck for tomorrow to Leigh!

Damn you're right Badgster!

Quote: mathew aspey @ January 22 2012, 6:31 PM GMT

Thats tomorrow guys, hes a new performer doin his first gig tomorrow, don't you think you're being a little bit harsh, deconstructing his act?

The OP started this thread asking for critique and if he chooses to take it on board he's got a whole day to come up with a new opener. I'd sooner he take out the paedo gag than have the rest of his set fall on deaf ears because of it, which is the most likely outcome going by what I've seen on the open mic circuit the last few years.

I wrote this joke today if anyone wants it.

Waiter waiter I ordered a sweet potato, this is a new potato!
Sir it is a sweet potato; it likes kittens and loves it's mum.

Good luck tomorrow lee, have fun up there

Yeah, you ask for advice and sometimes you get it. That's one of the great things about this website. Take on board what you want to and ignore the rest.

Good grief of late Badge you're starting to sound like Micheal Caine in Get Carter.

Quote: mathew aspey @ January 22 2012, 6:42 PM GMT

Good luck tomorrow lee, have fun up there

At least get his name right, Mathew. It's Leigh, not Lee.

Talking of names, is your surname pronounced ASS PEE or ASS PAY?

Thanks for all the replies.

The only problem with changing it now is that a lot of it is linked together. I am able to remember it now, think it might be a bit late to change it now.

I do agree that the start could be reworded to make it softer and possibily work a joke in first. I could also move a part that I have later to the start.

"We can all agree that grooming kids is wrong, but happy with people grooming dogs. Not only that actively encourage it. "

The "whats that about" Is actually what people say around here, but its a good point and I will take it out.

And people say that the stage part is hard.

The first part is the only part that is edgy, the rest is very mainstream (dog walking, pirates, birthday present).

I plan on getting it recorded, hopefully I will get it posted here on Tuesday.