Sent this in to Treason show a while ago... It's to the tune of Land down under by men at work - It's better if you know the song

I thought it was quite topical.

Bank gone under

Going in on a Monday morning

At six am and full of caffeine

I had a strange feeling, it made me nervous

I saw my boss who bought me breakfast

Did you know that our bank's gone under?

All of us bankers have blundered

Can't you see bankers now must plunder?

So we should too or else we'll get the hunger

Stealing bread from a man in Wood Green

He was muscular and lived on protein

I said can you spare a small sandwich

He just punched me, he speaka no English

And I cried

The bank where I work's gone under

All of us bankers have blundered

Can't you see bankers now must plunder?

So I must too if not I'll get the hunger

Lying in a street near Big Ben

With jar of coins and selling cheap pens

I cried to a man "Can you spare me some coinage?

I need some gold for to pay the mortgage"

And he said

Has the bank where you work gone under?

All of you bankers have blundered

Finance world, it was torn asunder

But things won't change lest labour go under.

And here is how it fits with the original song....
(Just in case... because even the original song had a few too many syllables in some of the lines for the tune - e.g. the vegemite sandwich line)

Bank gone under

Goin' in on a Mon - day morning
Travel - ing in a fried - out combie

At six am and full of caffeine
On a hippie trail, head full of zombie

I had a strange feeling, it made me nervous
I met a strange lady, she made me nervous

I saw my boss who took me for breakfast
She took me in and gave me breakfast

And he said
And she said,

Did you know that our bank's gone under
Do you come from a land down under?

All of us bankers have blundered
Where women glow and men plunder?

Can't you see bankers now must plunder?
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?

So we should too or else we'll get the hunger
You bet - ter run, you bet - ter take cover."

Stealing bread from a man in Wood Green
Buying bread from a man in Brussels

He was mus - cu - lar and lived on protein
He was six foot four and full of muscles

I said can you spare a small sandwich
I said, Do you speak-a my language?"

He just punched me, he speaka no English
He just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich

And he said,
And I cried

The bank where I work's gone under
I come from a land down under

All of us ban - kers have blundered
Where beer does flow and men chunder

Can't you see bankers now must plunder?
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?

So I must too if not I'll get the hunger
You better run, you bet-ter take cover.

Lying in a street near Big Ben
Lying in a den in Bom - bay

With a jar of coins and selling cheap pens
With a slack jaw and not much to say

I called to a man "Can you spare me some coin - age?
I said to the man "Are you try -ing to tempt me

I need some gold for to pay the mortgage"
Be - cause I come from the land of plenty?"

And he said
And he said,

Has the bank where you work gone under?
Do you come from a land down under?

All of you ban - kers have blundered
Where women glow and men plunder?

Fi - nance world It was torn a - sunder
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?

But things won't change lest labour go under.
You bet - ter run, you better take cover.

I try to write songs for the TS - I've had a few 'I like it's' from them but never got one in. They have came back to me with suggestions from time to time though, and I'd suggest (and I may well be wrong) that there simply aren't enough jokes.

The hook is clever, but not inherently funny and certainly not enough to warrant it's repition despite you obviously wanting to follow the song. No idea who wrote it, but recently one song they used was entitled 'Israeli Men'. To me, that's a cracker and would make me laugh as part of an audience.

I draw you back to my preamble, mind - I'm not exactly an authority

Love it! ;-) I too wrote one of those. My first try so please be gentle.

- GORDONS SONG -

MUSIC: "I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR LOVE" BY MEAT LOAF.

SPOTLIGHT ON A SOOTHY-FACED GORDON BROWN, DRESSED IN BLUE OVERALLS. HE ENTERS THE STAGE SINGING INTO A BROOM.

GORDON: And I would do anything for votes, I'd run right in to hell and back.
I would do anything for votes, I'll never lie to you and that's a fact.

But I'll never forget the way you feel right now - Oh no - no way - and I
would do anything for votes, I would do anything for votes,
I would do anything for votes, but I won't do that, no I won't do that.

Some days they don't come easy, some days they don't come hard.
Some days they don't come at all, and these are the days that never end.

Some voters want me humble, others to see me flex.
Some voters hate everything I ever did - or ever will.

Maybe I'm crazy, but it's crazy and it's true.
I know you can save me; no one else can save me now but you.

As long as the press is turning, my blunders will keep concerning.
I don't give a shit and nor do you - you better believe it.

That I would do anything for votes, I would do anything for votes,
I would do anything for votes, but I won't do that, no I won't do that.

I would do anything for votes, I'll kiss your ass and I'll name boats, but I just
won't do that.
I would do anything for votes, I forced my wife to wear fleece coats, but I
just won't do that.

Some days I pray to Satan, and some days I pray to God.
Some days I just pray to the Gods I'll keep my cool and not run amok.

And maybe I'm loony, that's all I'm qualified to be.
There's just one and only, the only promise I can keep.

As long as my blood is flowing, as long as a fruit needs throwing, I'm going
to stay right here and rule - you better believe it.

That I would do anything for votes, and you know it's true and that's a fact.
I would do anything for votes and there'll never be no turning back.
But I'll never pull it off, if you just sit on your hands, so vote - so vote.

I would do anything for votes, I would do anything for votes,
I would do anything for votes, but I won't do that, no I won't do that.

I will grovel and beg - I will crawl on my knees. I will boost your false hopes
and tell lies just to please.
I can smile like an angel while stabbing a back - I can do that, I can do that.

I will cater to every fantasy you've got, I will jump on my tongue,
I'll eat peas from your butt.
I will even come and sing in a rag that smells a lot. I can do that. Oh yeah!
I can do that.