Roger from intelligence

(Secret agent dressed as an middle eastern businessman sneaks along low against a wall, he stops and puts his hand to his ear. A voice comes through on the radio.)

Intelligence: You've got past the gates, that was the hard bit. There are two more guards at the main entrance, our sources say these guards will change at exactly 9pm. This is going to leave the front entrance unguarded for about 50 seconds and that's when you go in.

Agent: so I just walk in?

Intel: exactly, your disguise should let you get in un-noticed.

Agent: roger that. What am I looking for when I get in?

Intel: (slight pause) there will be stairs on the far side of the main room leading down to the basement.

Agent: roger

Intel: what?

Agent: (pauses) no, not Roger as in your name, roger as in I understand.

Intel: oh, right, of course. Sometimes when you don't say 'that' afterwards I get confused.

Agent: ok, roger that.

Intel: roger what?

Agent: What?

Intel: oh sorry again, sometimes when you say 'roger that' I think that you want me to…..

Agent: oh shut up, look lets not use the word roger at all unless I'm saying your name, I'll just say OK or got it.

Intel: well technically speaking you shouldn't really be using my name at all, you should just refer to me as intelligence.

Agent: (pause) well that wouldn't be entirely accurate would it. And anyway it's a bit too late now. Roger, tell me my escape route.

(long pause)

Agent: Roger as in your name.

Intel: oh right, of course. What was the question?

Agent: oh forget it, one step at a time.

Intel: one step at a time.

Agent: that's sound advice Roger, thanks. What time is it, can you manage that?

Intel: er………..(long pause, we can hear fumbling around over the radio) there we go…..its four minutes past nine.

Agent: so I've missed the guard change.

Intel: er………..yeah.

Agent: whats plan B then, intelligence?

Intel: dunno really.

Agent: well that's brilliant isn't it.

(intel starts to say something but is interrupted)

Agent: shh. Just be quiet now Roger, OK?

Intel: (quietly) roger

Agent: Good.

(the agent then moves over to a window and picks it open with a knife, before clambering inside. He reappears in a dark room, straightens out his fake beard and headscarf and then heads for the door to the main room, we can hear music and conversation through the door. We see the agents face as he comes through the door and freezes, the music and conversations stop and we pan out to reveal a room filled with italian mafia type folk all staring at the disguised agent. He slowly raises his hand to his ear)

Agent: (whispering) roger!

Intel: what? I didn't say anything.

(screen goes black and gunshots are heard)

Intel: oh, right, sorry.

Edited by Aaron.

alternative ending........

Intel: (quietly) roger

Agent: Good.

(the agent then moves over to a window and picks it open with a knife, before clambering inside. He reappears in a dark room, straightens out his fake beard and headscarf and then heads for the door to the main room, we can hear music and conversation through the door. We see the agents face as he comes through the door and freezes, the music and conversations stop and we pan out to reveal a room filled with people in dinner suits all staring at the arab disguised agent. He slowly raises his hand to his ear.
Cut to Roger, who's about 40 and quite fat, sat on just his pants. He's in front of a computer in a messy bedroom with lots of Man Utd posters on the wall. We hear the agent's voice through Roger's radio.)

Agent: (whispering) roger!

Intel: what? I didn't say anything.

(we hear a single gunshot on Roger's radio, then a thud)

Roger: oh……

Sorry, mate, but the ZAZ guys pretty much own the 'Roger' joke. Yours just feels like a hollow retread.

I'm afraid this is a bit clunky and has a not so good Get Smart feel.

I'd go for something nippier and to the point.

Wasn't aware it'd been done, nevermind. Ta for reading

Then you need to go rent a copy of Airplane this very minute.

Really? Have I just unwittingly copied Airplane? Thats horrible. I've even seen it, not for about fifteen years, but still.

Coming soon...........

Two blokes try to take down a chandalier, with hilarous consequences!

Quote: amillionpounds @ December 12 2008, 4:53 PM GMT

Really? Have I just unwittingly copied Airplane? Thats horrible. I've even seen it, not for about fifteen years, but still.

Coming soon...........

Two blokes try to take down a chandalier, with hilarous consequences!

It happens. At least you unwittingly copied from the best.

Quote: amillionpounds @ December 12 2008, 4:53 PM GMT

Really? Have I just unwittingly copied Airplane? Thats horrible. I've even seen it, not for about fifteen years, but still.

Coming soon...........

Two blokes try to take down a chandalier, with hilarous consequences!

:D