Before the Champions League match tonight, here's a quickly penned NewsRevue ditty:

Manchester United 1 Chelsea Ground Staff 1. Extra-time being served in Wormwood Scrubs and Strangeways with offenders being rewarded with a trip to Moscow in May.

Not bad, and I like the tone. Mind you I'd lose the bit about Moscow.

I included the bit about a trip to Moscow because it ties in with the soft treatment of inmates so it's two gags in one.

Mind you, Moscow on holiday? Hmmmmm....

Good place for a replay. Let's hope they don't go soft on the scum - and I don't just mean Manchester United.

Oh, you're referring to the infamous Headhunters?

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