Hey,

Playing with a new character and was looking for some feedback from strangers. Please let me know anything you felt worked/didn't and why.

Comments on anything at all from script, performance to general idea would be greatly appreciated

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3_4nU9eX1Gc

Thanks!!!

Wouldn't this be better on.........

https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/critique/

You will probably get a better response - plenty of critics.

Hey,

Thanks. Ya, sorry - I saw the critique corner after and thought I'd not sent this thread yet.

It's a bit vague and you're mixing up two oldish, weakish jokes to not much effect.

I'd suggest working on a stronger comedy character.

Ya, I was aiming at a satire of the old 80's fitness videos. It's been done though, I guess. And I take your point on the character; He's a bit monotonous.

Incidentally which two, weakish jokes did you mean?

Thanks for having a look, much appreciated.

Well first of all the mocking the fitness video and secondly providing inappropriate images for words.

Too get the fitness video thing to work, you'd need to provide much more dressing up.

Wear leg warmers and a head band, couple of Athena posters in the background etc.

You appear to have posted this several times in the same Critique section. Not funny, still.

I kinda liked the first 30secs and the monotonous character.

The silly, punning images are very old hat, and also don't really go anywhere towards satirising 80s fitness videos.

I did quite like a couple of lines though: "Did you ever notice how attractive people often look good?", or whatever it was.