Had two new piercings done in honour of my favourite Edgar Allan Poe story.

The Tit and the Frenulum.

Quote: AndyGilder @ 26th February 2014, 1:43 PM GMT

Had two new piercings done in honour of my favourite Edgar Allan Poe story.

The Tit and the Frenulum.

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I quite like this, took a second to get it and might be lost on some of the thicker audiences.

I think the pricing there might nothing in the pricing at the local war museum and jewish synagogue, whenever my elderly relatives came back they wouldn't stop talking about the hollow cost.

Quote: The Drifter @ 26th February 2014, 2:21 PM GMT

I quite like this, took a second to get it and might be lost on some of the thicker audiences.

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I'm an acquired taste.

Apparently pineapple juice can help with that.

Quote: sootyj @ 26th February 2014, 7:45 PM GMT

Apparently pineapple juice can help with that.

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Also good for burning off fingerprints. So I'm told.

Angela Merkel is addressing Parliament today.

I can only assume the Terminator that Skynet sent back to 1939 has successfully assassinated Churchill.

I'll never forget the time I had to do P.E in my underpants at school after forgetting my kit.

It ended my teaching career.

Quote: Nick81 @ 27th February 2014, 7:33 PM GMT

I'll never forget the time I had to do P.E in my underpants at school after forgetting my kit.

It ended my teaching career.

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V good

I'm not saying the Manchester United players don't want to play for David Moyes anymore, but the whole squad is currently learning the Quenelle.

"I once briefly had a job printing fake bank notes, but quit after a couple of days."

"How come?"

"The money was terrible."

thats rather nice.

I had a similar job at the kidney dialysis clinic, but they caught me taking the piss.

The Sahara desert walks into a bar.

The barman says "long time no sea."

I got caught robbing a famous footballers house last night.

I'd have got away with it too if it wasn't for those Heskey kids.

So Putin doesn't like homosexuality, yet he still enters Ukraine through the back door

Quote: Nick81 @ 28th February 2014, 3:45 PM GMT

The Sahara desert walks into a bar.

The barman says "long time no sea."

I got caught robbing a famous footballers house last night.

I'd have got away with it too if it wasn't for those Heskey kids.

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First one excellent, second one a clever punchline in search of a joke.

Don't worry Ukraine.

Putin might give you up for lent.