I read the news today oh boy! Page 1,272

If I was Jim Davidson I cry my self to sleep on that huge pile of money I use for a bed, whilst my best mate Chalky hugged me gently.

Quote: sootyj @ August 21 2013, 9:25 PM BST

If I was Jim Davidson I cry my self to sleep on that huge pile of money I use for a bed, whilst my best mate Chalky hugged me gently.

Big Break is on the Challenge channel . .

Jim Davison there, well and truly snookering the Metropolitan Police.

Re strip clubs. Many moons ago, on a school trip to France, 5 of us ( friend and 3 of the boys) went to a strip club in Montmartre. The boys had been there before and knew that entry was cheap but drinks were extortionate. We paid our entry and were shown to the front row but when we declined to order drinks (god! They must have thought we were really creepy!) we were moved to the back row. Wasn't particularly impressive - I've vague memories of some woman prancing about with a fake snake. Ah, memories. Thank you all for reminding me of this.

Quote: Nigel Ball @ August 21 2013, 9:22 PM BST

Hello Jennie. I find them both as creepy as each other, I'm sorry if I came over a little harsh with that rant, but I would hate any of my daughters to go down any of them roads, Its just the way I am.

Wow. You would be as bothered about your daughters doing online dating as you would be about them taking their clothes off in front of strangers?

Not much more I can say. That is truly shocking.

Quote: keewik @ August 21 2013, 11:45 PM BST

Ah, memories. Thank you all for reminding me of this.

Sounds better than the clip joints in Soho. I recall being with a Danish girlfriend in London, and we'd been to the theatre and wanted a drink. Made the mistake of allowing a geezer to lure us into a "great bar" that turned out to be empty. Solitude, no worries, but they tried to make us buy massively overpriced drinks, then tried to charge a fiver each for the privilege of walking out without having bought a drink. The scum.

Quote: Nigel Ball @ August 21 2013, 9:22 PM BST

Hello Jennie. I find them both as creepy as each other, I'm sorry if I came over a little harsh with that rant, but I would hate any of my daughters to go down any of them roads, Its just the way I am.

Quote: Jennie @ August 21 2013, 11:51 PM BST

Wow. You would be as bothered about your daughters doing online dating as you would be about them taking their clothes off in front of strangers?

Not much more I can say. That is truly shocking.

Personally, I'm not particularly concerned if my daughters become involved with internet dating or lap-dancing/stripping... just so long as they never descend into the sordid world of posting regularly on a British comedy forum. That I would find disturbing.

Sorry dad

Sorry dad

Quote: T.W. @ August 22 2013, 1:43 AM BST

Personally, I'm not particularly concerned if my daughters become involved with internet dating or lap-dancing/stripping... just so long as they never descend into the sordid world of posting regularly on a British comedy forum. That I would find disturbing.

Golly! The good Doctor is back! That brightens up this place no end. Fatted calf now being dispatched. This is up there with finding Souvenirs Disc 3 of The Frank and Walters this week. Can the Doctor administer a drop of elixir to purge the stagnant ponds that have been enshrouding parts of this forum in banal shite?

Quote: T.W. @ August 22 2013, 1:43 AM BST

Personally, I'm not particularly concerned if my daughters become involved with internet dating or lap-dancing/stripping... just so long as they never descend into the sordid world of posting regularly on a British comedy forum. That I would find disturbing.

True, true. It's a dirty dirty game.

Quote: Jennie @ August 21 2013, 11:51 PM BST

Wow. You would be as bothered about your daughters doing online dating as you would be about them taking their clothes off in front of strangers?

Not much more I can say. That is truly shocking.

Your post makes no sense at all! Please "NEVER" have children! I just hope my daughters never end up being a "DESPERATE SLAPPER" putting themselves out in the open. I suppose its the way people are brought or dragged up isn't it? To be taught whats right and wrong and to have a little bit of self respect takes nothing! Shame I can't say that about everybody!

Wind your neck in Nigel. No need to be rude, is there.

Quote: Nigel Ball @ August 22 2013, 11:16 AM BST

I just hope my daughters never end up being a "DESPERATE SLAPPER" putting themselves out in the open.

Gender is a red herring. We all experience desperation at times, whether from unfulfilled physical or emotional expectations.

And back to faux news, a look at how Time magazine offers different cover stories depending on where it is marketed: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/11/25/1039957/-STUNNING-Comparing-U-S-World-Covers-for-TIME-Magazine

Quote: Nigel Ball @ August 22 2013, 11:16 AM BST

I just hope my daughters never end up being a "DESPERATE SLAPPER" putting themselves out in the open.

So the arranged marriage it is then; will there be an honour killing if you catch them wearing short skirts or talking to boys?

And not quite news, but some interesting maps:

http://twistedsifter.com/2013/08/maps-that-will-help-you-make-sense-of-the-world/