Quote: lomas @ 4th September 2014, 10:56 PM BSTWhatever happens with Scotland I hope they are able to keep the pound. Otherwise all of their shopping trollies will be useless.
Tell us a joke Page 77
I was at the Triffid council, discussing our plans for taking over the world, when my sap suddenly ran cold as I realised that one of us was a plant.
thats pretty good but it could be slicker
I never discuss crime at the garden centre, theres plants all over the place.
I once went undercover at a garden centre after a spate of thefts. That's right, I was a plant. A robber plant
Wasn't he the lead singer of Led Zeppelin?
I was livid when my 9-year-old told me his teacher says I'm a bad parent.
"Right" I said. "Finish your pint and we'll go and have it out with him."
What about something like:
Had a close call this week when the police raided my house and found marijuana growing in my spare bedroom.
I told them it was a plant.
<"I was at the Home Office, discussing the threatened triffid invasion, when my blood suddenly ran cold: I realised that one of us was a plant.">
Good suggestion; it gains in the absurdity of the obvious lack of disguise what it loses in the absurdity of all being plants.
Agreeing with all the others who point out the original was a bit unwieldy, I can even trim the original somewhat:
'I was at the Triffid council, discussing our plans for taking over the world, when I suddenly realised that one of us was a plant.'
Oh, and that was after the successful sting operation.
Quote: Marc P @ 3rd September 2014, 10:31 PM BSTRene
What about the Frenchman who pissed bubbles?
Pierre.
The German f**ked by a pony?
Horst
My tinder broke when I went to China. It kept showing me the same person.
Quote: CallumS @ 5th September 2014, 7:56 PM BSTMy tinder broke when I went to China. It kept showing me the same person.
No idea what that means at all.
Quote: Chappers @ 5th September 2014, 10:43 PM BSTNo idea what that means at all.
It's basically a "all Chinese people look the same" joke.
I f**ked 100 people I found on a dating site
tinder?
It's f**king agony
Quote: Nick81 @ 5th September 2014, 10:58 PM BSTIt's basically a "all Chinese people look the same" joke.
What's a tinder - or am I really thick?
Quote: Chappers @ 6th September 2014, 10:38 PM BSTWhat's a tinder - or am I really thick?
It's basically a dating app. It shows you a face and you choose whether you like it or not. If two role both like how each other look then a match is made. If you don't like how the other person looks, ou choose the 'x' and are shown the next person on the app. http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tinder_(application)