Belinda Fordham!!!

Sorry, I'm getting personal here

Quote: Keith Rees @ April 15 2009, 12:21 AM BST

As I've only scanned through this quickly, your porn star name is the name of your first pet, and your mothers maiden name...H'apparently!
Mine would be Tiger Powell.
Cool or what!

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Rex Harrison??!!

Quote: Keith Rees @ April 15 2009, 12:21 AM BST

As I've only scanned through this quickly, your porn star name is the name of your first pet, and your mothers maiden name...H'apparently!
Mine would be Tiger Powell.
Cool or what!

View original

Cool, I have your mother's maiden name now.

Er, another formula for porn star names would be your online banking password and pin number.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ April 15 2009, 12:45 AM BST

Cool, I have your mother's maiden name now.

Er, another formula for porn star names would be your online banking password and pin number.

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Sure! It's KISSMY 455

Quote: Marc P @ April 14 2009, 10:05 PM BST

Just give us the line so we can contextualise it.

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Sorry I was asleep and missed all these great responses! They're brilliant, thank you (and yes I did mean to say don't give away your mother's maiden names!!)

Re the contextualising it's not a response to one line. There's just a character who is being very inappropriate, making sexual suggestions to a couple. The husband doesn't like her at all and wants her out of his flat.

The line I have in my head at the moment is:

"Are you still here Randy McNab?" But I wonder if that only appeals to me, as is often the case in my writing.

I may use a name elsewhere when he describes her to his wife. Something like
Debbie Does Dartford. But I'm going to re-read all those replies as they did make me laugh.

Ooh special mention also to Nil's 'Spanky Bottoms'! I thought if he said that it might drop him in it with his wife - who's that? how do you know her name etc...

Thanks again

Jx

I only know the name of one female porn star* - Uschi Digard. She's a babe.

*(may contain lies)

Quote: Jane P @ April 15 2009, 8:04 AM BST

The line I have in my head at the moment is: "Are you still here Randy McNab?"

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How about "Loretta Lust"?

Quote: Kenneth @ April 15 2009, 8:09 AM BST

I only know the name of one female porn star* - Uschi Digard. She's a babe.*(may contain lies)

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Thanks Kenneth

I've just looked her up on IMDB - you wouldn't need to know anyone else as she's made 123 films!!  Including some great titles such as "Can I Do It Til I Need Glasses?" which she also produced.  Prolific.

I look forward to her appearance on The South Bank Show next.

Quote: Jane P @ April 15 2009, 8:04 AM BST

Ooh special mention also to Nil's 'Spanky Bottoms'! I thought if he said that it might drop him in it with his wife - who's that? how do you know her name etc...

View original

Quote: Jane P @ April 15 2009, 8:17 AM BST

Thanks Kenneth
I've just looked her up on IMDB - you wouldn't need to know anyone else as she's made 123 films!!  Including some great titles such as "Can I Do It Til I Need Glasses?" which she also produced.  Prolific.

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As long as pronunciation of her name does not pose a problem. If I recall lewdly, she's Scandinavian (Swedish) and to her credit she only ever appeared in polite soft-core porn. These days there is just far too much gratuitious anal sex and coprophagia in porn, so a friend told me at church last week.

Quote: Jane P @ April 15 2009, 8:04 AM BST

Sorry I was asleep and missed all these great responses! They're brilliant, thank you (and yes I did mean to say don't give away your mother's maiden names!!)

Re the contextualising it's not a response to one line. There's just a character who is being very inappropriate, making sexual suggestions to a couple. The husband doesn't like her at all and wants her out of his flat.

The line I have in my head at the moment is:

"Are you still here Randy McNab?" But I wonder if that only appeals to me, as is often the case in my writing.

I may use a name elsewhere when he describes her to his wife. Something like
Debbie Does Dartford. But I'm going to re-read all those replies as they did make me laugh.

Ooh special mention also to Nil's 'Spanky Bottoms'! I thought if he said that it might drop him in it with his wife - who's that? how do you know her name etc...

Thanks again

Jx

View original

Think outside of the box, as it were, Jane. If you are not coming up with a zinging one liner with that configuration. Just try another. Or sometimes it works best if you can't get it to work is to simply cut it. Can you put more of the scene up so we can see where it comes organically. Again, as it were.

Quote: Marc P @ April 15 2009, 10:10 AM BST

Think outside of the box, as it were, Jane.

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Indeed. Using the name of an actual porn star poses a few problems - does it signify the character saying the name is a porn aficionado? Also, although Uschi Digard is gorgeous, who on earth (among your audience) has ever heard of her and would know who she is? Even using a better known porn star name like 'Linda Lovelace' might make you (or the character) look like a bit of an old fogey.

Quote: Keith Rees @ April 15 2009, 12:21 AM BST

As I've only scanned through this quickly, your porn star name is the name of your first pet, and your mothers maiden name...H'apparently!
Mine would be Tiger Powell.
Cool or what!

View original

Yeaaah, I get "Sweepy Lee", which my dad always laughs at raucously.

Quote: Marc P @ April 15 2009, 10:10 AM BST

Think outside of the box, as it were, Jane. If you are not coming up with a zinging one liner with that configuration. Just try another. Or sometimes it works best if you can't get it to work is to simply cut it. Can you put more of the scene up so we can see where it comes organically. Again, as it were.

View original

Thanks Marc, it's for my script in the Sitcom Trials and as we're on next Wednesday I think I'd be lynched by the cast if I change too much now (and rightly so!)

But after the comp I'll have a go at re-writing it for radio and can chop it about more then.

If that doesn't work I might write an adult film instead. The cast currently on my shortlist are:

Cherry Tart
Wendy Wildpeaks
Honey Lingus
Lex Akimbo
Jenny Taylor
Jackie Late
Tiger Powell
Sweepy Lee
and of course Spanky Bottoms.

Thanks all.

Call her Elizabeth Regina.
Uncontroversial.